Saturday, May 31, 2008
2.5 hours away
and i feel like im going to be the biggest jackass ever...
HAHAH, gotta pull it together gloria! you can do it!!!!!!!!! i feel like i cant be too much of a punk because i feel like there will already be drama for your mama. *crossing my fingers* i hope not though!
HAHAH, gotta pull it together gloria! you can do it!!!!!!!!! i feel like i cant be too much of a punk because i feel like there will already be drama for your mama. *crossing my fingers* i hope not though!
have you ever screwed up anyone's life?
i have. well, i'm pretty sure i have. and not just one person's. i think for every person i make happy, i screw over like 3. i am pretty sure i screwed over or screwed up at least 2 people long term. hahahahaha. but i'm not the only one...not that that's a consolation or anything.
man, i used to talk to jigga about all this shiet but i think he's working on getting a girl so i'll bother him about this stuff later. plus, it's way awesome to writeit all out. wooooooooo.
i'm feeling anxious. im not too sure why.
yay, im chatting with a friend in egypt! :)
man, i used to talk to jigga about all this shiet but i think he's working on getting a girl so i'll bother him about this stuff later. plus, it's way awesome to writeit all out. wooooooooo.
i'm feeling anxious. im not too sure why.
yay, im chatting with a friend in egypt! :)
good friday
yesterday was a fun day! i went to class in the morning, skipped out on my appointment in SF, and met up with chris around 1230!!!! mannnn, he's so awesome! we talked about our current plans, about our lives, and about our childhood (present, future, and past if ya didnt catch that). it was awesome! do you know how cool it is to be such an integral part to someone's memory of their childhood? man. totally awesome. so apparently i taught him how to draw a ninja fox when we were younger and he still has the drawing! it made my <3 so happy...and he taught me how to get people out in 4 square. apparently we both got in trouble once during 4 square for colluding. lol, i think i remember that. oh yeah! and he remembered when i got a card pulled in 2nd grade because the teacher was like stop playing with the coins cuz we were spinning 'em and i kept playing with 'em and then i had to pull a card and then he said i was crying and he felt bad for me. LOL. i totally remembered because it was so traumatzing but i had to clarify that it wasn't oon purpose. i was trying to be super extra careful to not drop the coin and then of course i dorpped it. :( hahahaha. gosh, good times. we also went on a quest to find the big "C" - well to drive up to it. unfortunatley we were unsuccessful but we shall find it some day! oh and we had lunch and it took me like 10 hours to eat my food cuz it was a huge ass sandwich and then a lake formed under my sandwich cuz it got all soggy and he just laughed at me and took pictures which was kinda messed up but it's cool as long as he was entertained. lol. gosh he's grown up to be a handsome young man. man, high five gloria for having good looking friends. oh he sent me this link. it's so awesome, check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JKKl95Ttrc
man, he totally has a special place in my <3 and like it'll be forever and forever. how awesome is that!!!! i'm not trying to be all showy offy but i just feel really fortunate and lucky that i can say i hung out with my best friend from first grade. dang, who says that!?!? :P
i hung out with him until about 4, then i went over to alan and vu's to just say hi. i ended up staying a lot longer. alan's sister cary was there too! she's so funny..a female version of alan. i was dying the entire time cuz they were so fereakin funny. first i went to peet's with vu and i got a brownie and the new berry pomegranite tea thing - a smoothie type drink. we talked about life and relationships...i'm glad that inspite of my major flaws vu is still my friend. or rather, he isn't going to judge me too much. it was nice to have that conversation with him. :) anyway, we walked back to the apartment and met up with cary and alan. alan is going to live in mountain view from like july to deecember for this internship thingie! how awesome!!!!!!!! too bad i won't be around. =/ oh well. i guess i might come visit. we all ended up eating at naan n curry. it was good stuff but i think my tandoori was way too burnt at some parts which i ate anyway so i was startin to get a sorethroat at the end. it was hella fun though just chatting up a storm with them.
i left around 8 to try n make it back for alison's concert. i think that was kinda stupid of me because (1) why rush back and make it late for the concert when (2) i really felt like hanging otu with them some more and when (3) i could just go on saturday. anyway, i think i was really feeling it bad when i thought about my first grade best friend and kinda missed him cuz i feltlike i shoulda spent more time with him whether or not he wanted to. lol. i wont elaborate but anyway, i guess you could say kinda missed him. man...my childhood - well the way i remember it - was so awesome. anyway, i'm over it.
i came back for the concert which was hella awesome but i guess i missed some of the best parts. it was such an amazing feeling to come trhough the doors and see that big mass of people on stage like just making such beautiful music. it was very heart warming and i felt like crying. probably more because i missed my friends... anyway, it was way cool to watch and there was a reception afterwards. then i dropped of some of wisterialane and headed home. i didn't think i was going to be very fun and i didntfeel like trying to be fun so i left. that's what happens when i rip myself away from people...i should know that by now. all the times i had to leave home after such a short period of time. i mean it's always "too short" of a time or wahtever, but there's definitely a way too short like you are totally be torn away. yep.
anyway, i talked to chris on line for a little and we swapped pictures!!! then i talked to alan on line for a million hours because cary wentclubbing and he wanted someone to talk to. that f-er. lol. just kidding i love him. but dang, to keep me up cuz i was hella tired we started talking about different things and we ended up on a sensitive subject for me. what a ho cuz then cary got back and then i was all awake but they were going to sleep. lol. anyway, just reminded me of the some messed up shit i used to do and well i guess currently still do. anyway, i thought of that song relient k - who i am hates who i've been.
ohhhhhhhh, i forgot. i also felt really jacked up too because james asked me to fill in for him at the family resource desk but i couldnt so there wasn't anybody wrking there today. i know that it's hisfault for not being able to do it, but i really wanted to help out and they really need to people there. ahh. anywya, tha tmade me feel horrible. to not be able tot hlep out because i was screwing around with friends. ah...yep.
i was doing so well for the past week and a half. i seemed kinda normal. hung out like a normal perosn..but i hope i'm not weird today.. yeah, friends are fun and awesome but distance makes the heart grow fonder. i think i need some familial love right now. hahaha. oh boy. thank goodness for this blog and for being able to vent. dang.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JKKl95Ttrc
man, he totally has a special place in my <3 and like it'll be forever and forever. how awesome is that!!!! i'm not trying to be all showy offy but i just feel really fortunate and lucky that i can say i hung out with my best friend from first grade. dang, who says that!?!? :P
i hung out with him until about 4, then i went over to alan and vu's to just say hi. i ended up staying a lot longer. alan's sister cary was there too! she's so funny..a female version of alan. i was dying the entire time cuz they were so fereakin funny. first i went to peet's with vu and i got a brownie and the new berry pomegranite tea thing - a smoothie type drink. we talked about life and relationships...i'm glad that inspite of my major flaws vu is still my friend. or rather, he isn't going to judge me too much. it was nice to have that conversation with him. :) anyway, we walked back to the apartment and met up with cary and alan. alan is going to live in mountain view from like july to deecember for this internship thingie! how awesome!!!!!!!! too bad i won't be around. =/ oh well. i guess i might come visit. we all ended up eating at naan n curry. it was good stuff but i think my tandoori was way too burnt at some parts which i ate anyway so i was startin to get a sorethroat at the end. it was hella fun though just chatting up a storm with them.
i left around 8 to try n make it back for alison's concert. i think that was kinda stupid of me because (1) why rush back and make it late for the concert when (2) i really felt like hanging otu with them some more and when (3) i could just go on saturday. anyway, i think i was really feeling it bad when i thought about my first grade best friend and kinda missed him cuz i feltlike i shoulda spent more time with him whether or not he wanted to. lol. i wont elaborate but anyway, i guess you could say kinda missed him. man...my childhood - well the way i remember it - was so awesome. anyway, i'm over it.
i came back for the concert which was hella awesome but i guess i missed some of the best parts. it was such an amazing feeling to come trhough the doors and see that big mass of people on stage like just making such beautiful music. it was very heart warming and i felt like crying. probably more because i missed my friends... anyway, it was way cool to watch and there was a reception afterwards. then i dropped of some of wisterialane and headed home. i didn't think i was going to be very fun and i didntfeel like trying to be fun so i left. that's what happens when i rip myself away from people...i should know that by now. all the times i had to leave home after such a short period of time. i mean it's always "too short" of a time or wahtever, but there's definitely a way too short like you are totally be torn away. yep.
anyway, i talked to chris on line for a little and we swapped pictures!!! then i talked to alan on line for a million hours because cary wentclubbing and he wanted someone to talk to. that f-er. lol. just kidding i love him. but dang, to keep me up cuz i was hella tired we started talking about different things and we ended up on a sensitive subject for me. what a ho cuz then cary got back and then i was all awake but they were going to sleep. lol. anyway, just reminded me of the some messed up shit i used to do and well i guess currently still do. anyway, i thought of that song relient k - who i am hates who i've been.
ohhhhhhhh, i forgot. i also felt really jacked up too because james asked me to fill in for him at the family resource desk but i couldnt so there wasn't anybody wrking there today. i know that it's hisfault for not being able to do it, but i really wanted to help out and they really need to people there. ahh. anywya, tha tmade me feel horrible. to not be able tot hlep out because i was screwing around with friends. ah...yep.
i was doing so well for the past week and a half. i seemed kinda normal. hung out like a normal perosn..but i hope i'm not weird today.. yeah, friends are fun and awesome but distance makes the heart grow fonder. i think i need some familial love right now. hahaha. oh boy. thank goodness for this blog and for being able to vent. dang.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
headache
so i finally turned in the lecture notes at last! woot. i skipped class for it. :)
gordon came over for lunch! it was me gordon and vi. we had leftover vietnamese food from the PNG packing party at Kelly's on monday. it was fun times. then we all went to campus and went our separate ways - i to yoga, gordon to trancos, and vi to class.
hmm....im drawing a blank for what happened after. oh yeah! i took a nap. lol. then i played tennis with elizabeth around 5:30pm. we hit until IMs started, which was about 6. MANNNNN...IMs were sooo stressful today. i can't play competitions/matches..it's too stressful. it's not only stressful because i just want to win AND play well, but because my team was totally counting on me. so i lost a match to this girl who i defnitely should not have lost too and i was going nutso! my brain was hurting so much. i redeemed myself in doubles and we won 25-24. so close..omg. if we lost i would have gone completely crazy. i feel sooo bad when it's my fault cuz if we had lost it would have been my fault. anyway, this is so frivolous. BLAH.
ummmmmm...afterward, i had dinner at jerry with LT and tad. it was a party - spaghetti and a drumstick! yay. then i visited justin and meg. then i went back to the house pretty exhausted. i took a shower. then amy and i were supposed to have a boba date, but it was too late by the time we met up on campus, so we ended up going to stern latenite to hang out with the others.
ummmmmmmmm...and that's the end!
just now donny was chatting with me. lol. oh boy oh boy, i'm so happy for him! he wants to go back to school. wastewater management. i'll see if i can find some degree programs in san diego that offer that degree. im excited for him. :) but he called me sweetie and i had to yell at him for it. oh boy...and he called to talk on the phone but i ignored it! yayy. lol, i'll probably hang out with him back in sd.
nowwwww...time to get down to business. or not. my head hurts. lol. freakin A. my loose racquet strings are stressin me out. lol. i have to write 2 short papers and a response thingie soon. lol. maybe i'll just sleep. ;)
goodnight!!!
gordon came over for lunch! it was me gordon and vi. we had leftover vietnamese food from the PNG packing party at Kelly's on monday. it was fun times. then we all went to campus and went our separate ways - i to yoga, gordon to trancos, and vi to class.
hmm....im drawing a blank for what happened after. oh yeah! i took a nap. lol. then i played tennis with elizabeth around 5:30pm. we hit until IMs started, which was about 6. MANNNNN...IMs were sooo stressful today. i can't play competitions/matches..it's too stressful. it's not only stressful because i just want to win AND play well, but because my team was totally counting on me. so i lost a match to this girl who i defnitely should not have lost too and i was going nutso! my brain was hurting so much. i redeemed myself in doubles and we won 25-24. so close..omg. if we lost i would have gone completely crazy. i feel sooo bad when it's my fault cuz if we had lost it would have been my fault. anyway, this is so frivolous. BLAH.
ummmmmm...afterward, i had dinner at jerry with LT and tad. it was a party - spaghetti and a drumstick! yay. then i visited justin and meg. then i went back to the house pretty exhausted. i took a shower. then amy and i were supposed to have a boba date, but it was too late by the time we met up on campus, so we ended up going to stern latenite to hang out with the others.
ummmmmmmmm...and that's the end!
just now donny was chatting with me. lol. oh boy oh boy, i'm so happy for him! he wants to go back to school. wastewater management. i'll see if i can find some degree programs in san diego that offer that degree. im excited for him. :) but he called me sweetie and i had to yell at him for it. oh boy...and he called to talk on the phone but i ignored it! yayy. lol, i'll probably hang out with him back in sd.
nowwwww...time to get down to business. or not. my head hurts. lol. freakin A. my loose racquet strings are stressin me out. lol. i have to write 2 short papers and a response thingie soon. lol. maybe i'll just sleep. ;)
goodnight!!!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
good times
i did pretty awesome on my nutrition midterm. thank you vi and old exams!!! woot. dang, i think i also do a lot better with less pressure cuz i totally am taking it for pass/fail now. lol. woot.
i got a lot accomplished today. worked on the lecture notes, went to pick up boxes of supplies at the hospital and dropped 'em off at kelly's house, then caught the tail end of class and picked up my midterm. got back at the house around 11am. now im going to take a dump, work some more on my lecture notes, and then meet up with james chu and ju yon (pwr1) for luncho at olives. then ima go to yoga prolly. then come back shower, and hopefully finish lecture notes. maybe have dinner at storey...then sometime later SENIOR NIGHT BITCHES. i was listening to usher - love in this club and pitbull-go girl and i'll got all excited about senior night. it best be good.
=)
i got a lot accomplished today. worked on the lecture notes, went to pick up boxes of supplies at the hospital and dropped 'em off at kelly's house, then caught the tail end of class and picked up my midterm. got back at the house around 11am. now im going to take a dump, work some more on my lecture notes, and then meet up with james chu and ju yon (pwr1) for luncho at olives. then ima go to yoga prolly. then come back shower, and hopefully finish lecture notes. maybe have dinner at storey...then sometime later SENIOR NIGHT BITCHES. i was listening to usher - love in this club and pitbull-go girl and i'll got all excited about senior night. it best be good.
=)
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
pooped
today finds me much more content. im not quite sure what it was...
maybe it was my blind rage yesterday and sending some emails that helped cool me down,
perhaps it was the 8 hours of sleep. perhaps acing my harder than usual chinese quiz. actually, i think it was the way awesomely cute and sweet kids from the asthma class. sooooooooooo cute!
anyway i went toTBW for te first time on a monday in months! then i went to my meeting and skipped out early for hip hop, my hero. we learned the sickest routine today - theres a battle involved! lauren and i busted out the moves - it was sooo fun! lauren is soo cool!!! oh, i saw hip hop boy yay!!! which still made me happy even though he was with this girl. i busted out one of those - i see you smiles but i'm going to look away before it gets awkward. i approve of the girl too if she is his gf cuz she's pretty cute. plus, when dtrieu and gordon were being goofy she kinda laughed and kinda had that look like she thought they were cute, so i was like awww, yay. so i approve. any cool kid who's anybody has to think dtrieu and gordon are cute. oh, and for second i was like, wow what if hip hop boy is gay? then i immediately put it out of my mind. :) i highly doubt he is! so hip hop was hella fun.
i bummed food afterwards at wilbur. then i hung out in trancos and practiced the dance.
then i went to the hospital to get my typhoid shot. it was either the butt or the arm. i chose the arm so nwo i'm going ot have a dead arm for hte rest of the week. oh well, i dont mind. i DID not want it in my butt! hahah
since then i've showered and done nothing. :) i'm sooo sleepy.
maybe it was my blind rage yesterday and sending some emails that helped cool me down,
perhaps it was the 8 hours of sleep. perhaps acing my harder than usual chinese quiz. actually, i think it was the way awesomely cute and sweet kids from the asthma class. sooooooooooo cute!
anyway i went toTBW for te first time on a monday in months! then i went to my meeting and skipped out early for hip hop, my hero. we learned the sickest routine today - theres a battle involved! lauren and i busted out the moves - it was sooo fun! lauren is soo cool!!! oh, i saw hip hop boy yay!!! which still made me happy even though he was with this girl. i busted out one of those - i see you smiles but i'm going to look away before it gets awkward. i approve of the girl too if she is his gf cuz she's pretty cute. plus, when dtrieu and gordon were being goofy she kinda laughed and kinda had that look like she thought they were cute, so i was like awww, yay. so i approve. any cool kid who's anybody has to think dtrieu and gordon are cute. oh, and for second i was like, wow what if hip hop boy is gay? then i immediately put it out of my mind. :) i highly doubt he is! so hip hop was hella fun.
i bummed food afterwards at wilbur. then i hung out in trancos and practiced the dance.
then i went to the hospital to get my typhoid shot. it was either the butt or the arm. i chose the arm so nwo i'm going ot have a dead arm for hte rest of the week. oh well, i dont mind. i DID not want it in my butt! hahah
since then i've showered and done nothing. :) i'm sooo sleepy.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
hahaha
don't know what it is. i must be pms-ing again but i got hella annoyed today. it wasn't even at anyone in particular. well lol i'm lying but i wont talk about that here.
anyway, i'm usually really touchy. john would say i flirt with guys but i dont like to use that phrase because i usually say that about hootchies and i dont really think that i am one, but i guess i am a little touchy sometimes. anyway, i may do it to people but oftentimes i kinda dont like it when people touch me without me intitating it or letting them know its okay. lately a lot of people of people have been touchy and stuff and nothing that i really initiated - not to say that it's not my fault - it's just bothering me...a lot actually. it's nothing bad, but i feel kinda whore-ish when they do that - put their head on my shoulder, put their arms around me, rub my back, etc... (i'm referring to guys, not girls, especially alison! i <3 alison!) anyway, it's my fault because i allowed it to begin with and i was the one to initiate it in the past (like "hey what's up?" *slap on the back* or *arm around teh shoulder* or *big hug* when i needed a hug). but i gotta stop doing that..lol. cuz it's leaving me in awkward situations. OH, and this is especially true for people I DONT KNOW. for example, i wont use any names, but there is a certain person who im friendly to as in i say hi and stuff, high fives and stuff, but who i never like touched like for a hug or anything, and this person put their arms around me in an awkward position. ho. hahaha. anyway...
lol, now to contrast that with some action i've been getting. so i get kisses all the time from my friend from oxford, but thats cool cuz he gay. and then the other day at senior night i got a kiss from an old friend, which is cool because i know it doesnt mean anything. it's like HEYYY long time no see! for some people it's a natural thing and i understand that. for other people, they got other associations with it and it makes me feel sick.
anyway, i gotta stop with this bad moodness. i think i'm going to take a break from the usual group for a little while. as in, the whole group all together. individual is cool...well certain individuals. HAH! gosh, i'm so bitter...my mom asked me if i was feeling tired recently like i used to and yep i'm tired all the time and i dont have the energy to do jack. but i lied! HAH. yeah...anyway, i dont like leaving these blog entries on a negative note so........
happy thoughts. once i finish this lecture, i'll have a lot less to doooooo. OH, and i'm going to probably skip my meeting tomorrow or half of it so i can go to hip hop classsssss because it makes mee sooo happy!!! umm, i'm hungry and i might get fooood. ummmmmmmmm....YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm glad i'm blogging. it makes me feel good. i can vent. i dont like that other people are reading it because it makes me feel slightly vulnerable, but eh, only slightly. whatevers. :D
OH another thing! i'm meeting up with my best friend from first grade. yang is awesome. pahua and i are now friends on facebook! i'm going to meet up wiht my pwr1 teacher who james and i LOVE. ummmmmmmmmm.... my futon is SO COMFORTABLE. yayyyy!!!!!!!!!
oh BOY. k, time to do something. goodnight!
anyway, i'm usually really touchy. john would say i flirt with guys but i dont like to use that phrase because i usually say that about hootchies and i dont really think that i am one, but i guess i am a little touchy sometimes. anyway, i may do it to people but oftentimes i kinda dont like it when people touch me without me intitating it or letting them know its okay. lately a lot of people of people have been touchy and stuff and nothing that i really initiated - not to say that it's not my fault - it's just bothering me...a lot actually. it's nothing bad, but i feel kinda whore-ish when they do that - put their head on my shoulder, put their arms around me, rub my back, etc... (i'm referring to guys, not girls, especially alison! i <3 alison!) anyway, it's my fault because i allowed it to begin with and i was the one to initiate it in the past (like "hey what's up?" *slap on the back* or *arm around teh shoulder* or *big hug* when i needed a hug). but i gotta stop doing that..lol. cuz it's leaving me in awkward situations. OH, and this is especially true for people I DONT KNOW. for example, i wont use any names, but there is a certain person who im friendly to as in i say hi and stuff, high fives and stuff, but who i never like touched like for a hug or anything, and this person put their arms around me in an awkward position. ho. hahaha. anyway...
lol, now to contrast that with some action i've been getting. so i get kisses all the time from my friend from oxford, but thats cool cuz he gay. and then the other day at senior night i got a kiss from an old friend, which is cool because i know it doesnt mean anything. it's like HEYYY long time no see! for some people it's a natural thing and i understand that. for other people, they got other associations with it and it makes me feel sick.
anyway, i gotta stop with this bad moodness. i think i'm going to take a break from the usual group for a little while. as in, the whole group all together. individual is cool...well certain individuals. HAH! gosh, i'm so bitter...my mom asked me if i was feeling tired recently like i used to and yep i'm tired all the time and i dont have the energy to do jack. but i lied! HAH. yeah...anyway, i dont like leaving these blog entries on a negative note so........
happy thoughts. once i finish this lecture, i'll have a lot less to doooooo. OH, and i'm going to probably skip my meeting tomorrow or half of it so i can go to hip hop classsssss because it makes mee sooo happy!!! umm, i'm hungry and i might get fooood. ummmmmmmmm....YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm glad i'm blogging. it makes me feel good. i can vent. i dont like that other people are reading it because it makes me feel slightly vulnerable, but eh, only slightly. whatevers. :D
OH another thing! i'm meeting up with my best friend from first grade. yang is awesome. pahua and i are now friends on facebook! i'm going to meet up wiht my pwr1 teacher who james and i LOVE. ummmmmmmmmm.... my futon is SO COMFORTABLE. yayyyy!!!!!!!!!
oh BOY. k, time to do something. goodnight!
im a wuss
so i was talking to my mom on the phone and she was tellin me how much cousin is now a lawyer, like she just graduated from law school at brown. that's pretty darn awesome!!! too bad instead of feeling happy for her, i feel like people are looking towards me to see what i'm going to do. well F-ers! they can just leave me alone. i hate the attention. i just want to do my own thing...
*sigh* i knew this might happen. but i'm just going to keep reminding myself why i'm going home and why i'm going to be doing what i'm doing. i keep talking about money but i really don't care about it - only insofar as it'll take me to different countries so i can be freee as a bird. anyway, my thinking my get a little incoherent here on out but alll the more funnnnnnnnn.
so why am i taking time off/going home to san diego? well im taking time off in the first place because i kinda slacked with applications and taking the mcat (because i went abroad at all the wrong times for apps but at the right times for awesome weather and a break!!!!). also, my grades kinda suck cuz i just started the biotrack and was kinda like, why waste time changing the major and trying to fit in both pre-med classes and whatever major i chose.. and i felt like if i chose an easier major then i'd be selling myself short..now i think i probably should have done humbio but im still not sure cuz i dunno if i woulda been able to study abroad two times!!!..yep, so there are those reasons for taking time off..OH YEAH and cuz school SUCKS ASS, well i lie. i sometimes enjoy school (when it's only classes and i dont have to wrry about being social or extracurriculars). ohh yeah, and another reason is cuz i want to live life in the real world for a little bit before getting back into school again. the world is very different as a high schol student versus a college graduate and im going to see for myself what an exciting world it can be and what a scary world it can be. *wink*
moving on..why san diego?..for one it's the best place on earff. awesome weather awesome people and my family - and as much as i love 'em i know im going to want to be spending less tiem at home after a few weeks. i think i just have a problem staying in any one place for a really long time. but yeah, my family and friends, and sometimes i think that a special person is there so umm yeah i dont like to think about it/talk about it but i think this is a big part, too. man, some peole in so cal are just so purty. also, in terms of an underprivileged community that i want to work with, what better place than san diego, a place where i grew up and that's right next to the border with lots of immigrants and ppl who really are disadvantaged. it's teh whole bringing it back to your community bit. so there's that reason...and now i have some connections with the american lung association and that medical-legal partnership (which is serioulsy something i've been wanting to work with since freshman year but never got around to and which could definitely change my career interests). on top of that, i have connections with the ucsd medical center, which i really haven't used but could take advnatage of if need be. i did an internship at the scripps research institute in high school, and moreee. so i got hookups if all else fails - the the TSRI hookup might be kinda awkward so i'm going to try and avoid that.
OHHHHHHHHH, one of hte major reasons why i decided not to apply to med schol this year is time. so yeah, i went to oxford in the winter, and that kinda made it difficult to study for mcats etc, not that i would have cuz it's pretty intense. but the major thing is my decision to go to papua new guinea. i was really hesitant to go because iwanted to take the time to work on my applications for med school and stuff. if i dotn do them now, it'll be 2 years AT LEAST until med school, which seems like a long time. but having started preparing for PNG, i've been really excited writing the lectures, and learning about hwo to perform different exams. it's been great learning so much, and it just feels so rewarding. i've spent sooo much more time this quarater on my lectures and PNG than any of my classes. also, i really want to put my skills into use which i defnitely will 3 full weeks of clinics (each day for like 8 or 9 hours straight) - i'll be able to practice exams, present patients, come up with diagnoses, do differential diagnoses (this is my hope anyway), prescribe medications. how awesome is that?! i really want to get good at it too so that if i end up going to med school i dont look like a complete idiot. i really dislike premeds cuz they're such dorks. they're like wannabe doctors, which annoys me like SOOO MUCH, ("oh you;re not feeling well? well, how long you've been feeling this way? can you describe the pain? what'd you eat beforeyou started feeling this way?") but honestly if you want to be a doctor i gues syou gotta act like one. there's got to be that retarded transition period --kinda like puberty..that awkward transition. hahaha, man those were good days. i remember when i would watch super hunched over so that no one could see my barely existent chest because it meant that i was growing up and i didnt want to grow up. lol, actually i think im still going thru puberty. *wink* hahah
anyway, i had to write that all out to remind myself of what i'm doing because i keep getting caught up in everyone else's craziness of what they're doing and finding a job and stuff.
i think for me, what's important to focus on is gettin ghte most out of PNG, then really cracking down and getting a good score on the MCAT. after that, hopefully, i should be in good shape. i really like my plan for what i'm doing after i graduate. it makes me happy. i've been talking a lot/whining a lot about how i shoulda got a job that paid good money, and that would have been awesome, but if it took away from seeing my family/helping people/volunteering, i dont know how happy that would have made me. i think i'm concerned about my parents though..like they'veinvested a lot in me. i know they want me to be happy and i hope thye realize that what i'm going to do is going to make me happy, but everytime it comes up i just get kinda upset cuz i feel like they like uhhh what are u doing with yourself? and its a perfectly fine question to ask but i feel like just keeping it to myself. lol. anyway, my thoughts really are getting all scattered because people are i-ming me...sooooooooooooooooo with that said...
-i have to make the most of PNG because it'll be my last trip for a while
-i have to do uber well on the MCAT cuz my grades are shit
-i have to contact the point people from those programs in san diego(bc it sounds now like my parents think working at the restaurant alone will be a waste of my stanford edu, i can see why they feel that way lol but i'll still help out)
-stop hanging out so much because i'm wasting so much money on gas...or crack down on ppl and have them pitch in but i'd feel kinda guilty doing that cuz i never have asked for gas
ummmmmmmm...and avoid certain people that have been pissing the SHIT out of me. you know how some people, like if they're annoying or like whatevers, just being AROUND them sets you off? it's like, they dont have to say anything but just being near them you wanna punch 'em. i sorta feel that way about someone, but i dont know why yet so i think i should try n avoid 'em but i dont thikn i'll be able to for a while so i'm gonna have to suck it up and act a FOOOL! :)
oh boy....
and SMILEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
*sigh* i knew this might happen. but i'm just going to keep reminding myself why i'm going home and why i'm going to be doing what i'm doing. i keep talking about money but i really don't care about it - only insofar as it'll take me to different countries so i can be freee as a bird. anyway, my thinking my get a little incoherent here on out but alll the more funnnnnnnnn.
so why am i taking time off/going home to san diego? well im taking time off in the first place because i kinda slacked with applications and taking the mcat (because i went abroad at all the wrong times for apps but at the right times for awesome weather and a break!!!!). also, my grades kinda suck cuz i just started the biotrack and was kinda like, why waste time changing the major and trying to fit in both pre-med classes and whatever major i chose.. and i felt like if i chose an easier major then i'd be selling myself short..now i think i probably should have done humbio but im still not sure cuz i dunno if i woulda been able to study abroad two times!!!..yep, so there are those reasons for taking time off..OH YEAH and cuz school SUCKS ASS, well i lie. i sometimes enjoy school (when it's only classes and i dont have to wrry about being social or extracurriculars). ohh yeah, and another reason is cuz i want to live life in the real world for a little bit before getting back into school again. the world is very different as a high schol student versus a college graduate and im going to see for myself what an exciting world it can be and what a scary world it can be. *wink*
moving on..why san diego?..for one it's the best place on earff. awesome weather awesome people and my family - and as much as i love 'em i know im going to want to be spending less tiem at home after a few weeks. i think i just have a problem staying in any one place for a really long time. but yeah, my family and friends, and sometimes i think that a special person is there so umm yeah i dont like to think about it/talk about it but i think this is a big part, too. man, some peole in so cal are just so purty. also, in terms of an underprivileged community that i want to work with, what better place than san diego, a place where i grew up and that's right next to the border with lots of immigrants and ppl who really are disadvantaged. it's teh whole bringing it back to your community bit. so there's that reason...and now i have some connections with the american lung association and that medical-legal partnership (which is serioulsy something i've been wanting to work with since freshman year but never got around to and which could definitely change my career interests). on top of that, i have connections with the ucsd medical center, which i really haven't used but could take advnatage of if need be. i did an internship at the scripps research institute in high school, and moreee. so i got hookups if all else fails - the the TSRI hookup might be kinda awkward so i'm going to try and avoid that.
OHHHHHHHHH, one of hte major reasons why i decided not to apply to med schol this year is time. so yeah, i went to oxford in the winter, and that kinda made it difficult to study for mcats etc, not that i would have cuz it's pretty intense. but the major thing is my decision to go to papua new guinea. i was really hesitant to go because iwanted to take the time to work on my applications for med school and stuff. if i dotn do them now, it'll be 2 years AT LEAST until med school, which seems like a long time. but having started preparing for PNG, i've been really excited writing the lectures, and learning about hwo to perform different exams. it's been great learning so much, and it just feels so rewarding. i've spent sooo much more time this quarater on my lectures and PNG than any of my classes. also, i really want to put my skills into use which i defnitely will 3 full weeks of clinics (each day for like 8 or 9 hours straight) - i'll be able to practice exams, present patients, come up with diagnoses, do differential diagnoses (this is my hope anyway), prescribe medications. how awesome is that?! i really want to get good at it too so that if i end up going to med school i dont look like a complete idiot. i really dislike premeds cuz they're such dorks. they're like wannabe doctors, which annoys me like SOOO MUCH, ("oh you;re not feeling well? well, how long you've been feeling this way? can you describe the pain? what'd you eat beforeyou started feeling this way?") but honestly if you want to be a doctor i gues syou gotta act like one. there's got to be that retarded transition period --kinda like puberty..that awkward transition. hahaha, man those were good days. i remember when i would watch super hunched over so that no one could see my barely existent chest because it meant that i was growing up and i didnt want to grow up. lol, actually i think im still going thru puberty. *wink* hahah
anyway, i had to write that all out to remind myself of what i'm doing because i keep getting caught up in everyone else's craziness of what they're doing and finding a job and stuff.
i think for me, what's important to focus on is gettin ghte most out of PNG, then really cracking down and getting a good score on the MCAT. after that, hopefully, i should be in good shape. i really like my plan for what i'm doing after i graduate. it makes me happy. i've been talking a lot/whining a lot about how i shoulda got a job that paid good money, and that would have been awesome, but if it took away from seeing my family/helping people/volunteering, i dont know how happy that would have made me. i think i'm concerned about my parents though..like they'veinvested a lot in me. i know they want me to be happy and i hope thye realize that what i'm going to do is going to make me happy, but everytime it comes up i just get kinda upset cuz i feel like they like uhhh what are u doing with yourself? and its a perfectly fine question to ask but i feel like just keeping it to myself. lol. anyway, my thoughts really are getting all scattered because people are i-ming me...sooooooooooooooooo with that said...
-i have to make the most of PNG because it'll be my last trip for a while
-i have to do uber well on the MCAT cuz my grades are shit
-i have to contact the point people from those programs in san diego(bc it sounds now like my parents think working at the restaurant alone will be a waste of my stanford edu, i can see why they feel that way lol but i'll still help out)
-stop hanging out so much because i'm wasting so much money on gas...or crack down on ppl and have them pitch in but i'd feel kinda guilty doing that cuz i never have asked for gas
ummmmmmmm...and avoid certain people that have been pissing the SHIT out of me. you know how some people, like if they're annoying or like whatevers, just being AROUND them sets you off? it's like, they dont have to say anything but just being near them you wanna punch 'em. i sorta feel that way about someone, but i dont know why yet so i think i should try n avoid 'em but i dont thikn i'll be able to for a while so i'm gonna have to suck it up and act a FOOOL! :)
oh boy....
and SMILEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
my heart hurts
literally. i think it's when i get a little stressed.
i'm going to go pick up edwin and steve from the airport. i feel bad though because originally i was going to go at 11 and get both of 'em cuz edwin's was coming in at 10am but edwin pushed his back till 1125am, which means steve will have to wait 1/2 an hour. lol. it's funny but i prefer edwin waiting 1 hour to steve waiting 1/2 an hour. i never really get to do any favors for steve, and now i can, but he's going to have to wait, because i'm just stingy enough that i'm not willing to drive back n forth to campus.
also, i have some work to do, but edwin is volunteering at the health fair which is something i always wanted to go to but i'm not sure if i should. i was thinking of getting my haircut, and also i need to get my lectures done. like absolutely. and i dont feel like not sleeping anymore. it'd only save me like 2 hours if i didn't go volunteering, but i still think it'd help, even if i just slept or something for those 2 hours. you know?
anyway, i was just planning on heading out to borders, but my best friend from first grade just i-med me. lucky butt. he's graduating on the 23rd. hahah. <3
i'm going to go pick up edwin and steve from the airport. i feel bad though because originally i was going to go at 11 and get both of 'em cuz edwin's was coming in at 10am but edwin pushed his back till 1125am, which means steve will have to wait 1/2 an hour. lol. it's funny but i prefer edwin waiting 1 hour to steve waiting 1/2 an hour. i never really get to do any favors for steve, and now i can, but he's going to have to wait, because i'm just stingy enough that i'm not willing to drive back n forth to campus.
also, i have some work to do, but edwin is volunteering at the health fair which is something i always wanted to go to but i'm not sure if i should. i was thinking of getting my haircut, and also i need to get my lectures done. like absolutely. and i dont feel like not sleeping anymore. it'd only save me like 2 hours if i didn't go volunteering, but i still think it'd help, even if i just slept or something for those 2 hours. you know?
anyway, i was just planning on heading out to borders, but my best friend from first grade just i-med me. lucky butt. he's graduating on the 23rd. hahah. <3
i hate being stingy
but im about to put in another $70 for gas. i just bought gas last week!!! dang. =( stupid truck. well, no, i <3 my truck cuz it's from homeeee.
i need a haircut. that's going to run me some more money.
fucking a. money sucks.
what's worse is that i could probably save a shitload of $ if I managed it better. If I didn't procrastinate on buying my plane tickets, didn't go out to eat, stopped driving super far away on a whim, but i guess those things are worth it if they keep me sane.
haha i guess the moral of the story is i need to get involved in the drug business or get with someone rich...probably the former. lol.
i need a haircut. that's going to run me some more money.
fucking a. money sucks.
what's worse is that i could probably save a shitload of $ if I managed it better. If I didn't procrastinate on buying my plane tickets, didn't go out to eat, stopped driving super far away on a whim, but i guess those things are worth it if they keep me sane.
haha i guess the moral of the story is i need to get involved in the drug business or get with someone rich...probably the former. lol.
Friday, May 16, 2008
hace mucho calor!
it's hot!!!!!!
so just some updates:
Monday-dinner with yang va lor!
Wednesday-AA awards to support yang va lor and i saw saaac people and other alumni!!!
Thursday-nutrition midterm, IM tennis, and then senior night!
dang it's been hella hella hot. shiet. anyway, i'm bumming around in alison's room because it's so damn cooool. she has an AC. heck yah. weeeeeeeeeee
camila - perderte de nuevo. (thanks julie kim!!!! :D)
so just some updates:
Monday-dinner with yang va lor!
Wednesday-AA awards to support yang va lor and i saw saaac people and other alumni!!!
Thursday-nutrition midterm, IM tennis, and then senior night!
dang it's been hella hella hot. shiet. anyway, i'm bumming around in alison's room because it's so damn cooool. she has an AC. heck yah. weeeeeeeeeee
camila - perderte de nuevo. (thanks julie kim!!!! :D)
Thursday, May 15, 2008
a letter
dear hip hop boy:
thanks for dancing near me in class today. it made me all happy. i think you're pretty cute and a good dancer but i think you may be a little young for me. i hope you know i think you're swell even if i don't show it. i hope you don't think i don't notice you because i do. i don't know your name or anything about you but i actually like it this way. take care, hip hop boy.
sincerely,
the girl who watches your every move *wink*
thanks for dancing near me in class today. it made me all happy. i think you're pretty cute and a good dancer but i think you may be a little young for me. i hope you know i think you're swell even if i don't show it. i hope you don't think i don't notice you because i do. i don't know your name or anything about you but i actually like it this way. take care, hip hop boy.
sincerely,
the girl who watches your every move *wink*
Monday, May 12, 2008
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
OH MY GOSH!
dang, i cant believe these stinky lectures are taking forever to write.maybe cuz mybrain'shalf dead when im trying to write them. lol. so yesterday i woke up at 4:30am to get started on work, and today i woke up at 2:44am. jeeze. it was supposed to be a nap..i think i went to take my nap at like 12? anyway, just finishing up that one lecture took me freakiin 3 hours. i'm so tired. so tired. my body is tired. lol. weeeeeeeeeee... so i have one more lecture to go. hopefully i can get that done today or tomorrow. BALLS, i say!
but before then, i have a lil project and a study to quiz for..LOL..quiz to study for both at 9:30am! wooooooooo i have 4 hours before class starts. do i nap? do i just truck on through? AHAHAHAH oh boy!!!!!!!!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. :)
this colbie caillat cd has been keepin me goin all night long. woooo.
but before then, i have a lil project and a study to quiz for..LOL..quiz to study for both at 9:30am! wooooooooo i have 4 hours before class starts. do i nap? do i just truck on through? AHAHAHAH oh boy!!!!!!!!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. :)
this colbie caillat cd has been keepin me goin all night long. woooo.
Monday, May 5, 2008
ghoang@stanfordalumni.org
man, i'm sore as a mofo. dragonboating really got me...dang. i need a massage. hahah.
anyway, i'm looking forward to stretching it all out in yoga tomorrow - that is, if i'm not even MORE sleep-deprived. dang. i have problems!
it's cinco de mayo - happy birthday john quach!
man...i really want a massage. :)
anyway, i'm looking forward to stretching it all out in yoga tomorrow - that is, if i'm not even MORE sleep-deprived. dang. i have problems!
it's cinco de mayo - happy birthday john quach!
man...i really want a massage. :)
Sunday, May 4, 2008
don't worry, be happy
gosh, so i have sooo much to do! those stinky lectures are taking forever. at first i was really excited to write them, and i still am cuz i'm learning so much, it's just taking a long time and i'm always tireeed. ahhhh.
so anyways, i'm trying not to stress too much cuz that's just taking years away from my life. though not sleeping isn't helping either! ahhhh. anyway, i'm going to just relax cuz everything's going to be just fine...eddie said so, no unnecessary worrying...there are worse things in the world. hahaha.
i guess i've already internalized that without knowing because i've been "slacking off" like crazy. by slacking off ij ust mean hanging out. i really haven't been all that lazy to tell you the truth. i've been hanging out with different groups of friends, taking care of other matters..it's just rough with my school schedule cuz classes are way spread out and lots of them are activity so i get tired..on top of that i've been teaching the asthma classes, trying to get the family resource training thing done so i can volunteer in the pediatric ER and working on this PNG stuff, which is really what's taking up all my time. so i haven't been slacking, attn has just been diverted away from school stuff to other stuff...i've been doing shitloads. lol.
let's see...
friday - lunch with TINA, dinner with LEILA (i think i wrote about this already), sib outing - gelayo gusto and TAP, then working until 5am
saturday - showing mai (from the vietnam access program) around from noon - 3:15pm,
swimming - OMG I LOVEEE FAMILY DAY AT THE POOL IM TOTALLY GOING BACK AGAIN -from about 4-5pm; then i took mai to the caltrain; then i went to eat at sushi tomo with YAN and ALISON..omg, that was SOOOOOOOOO FUN, i can't explain it...it was just really chill and relax and just hanging out with friends....then Charity Fashion Show afterward (oh we watched what what in the butt beforehand)..then "partying" in gordon and edwin's room, which was watching HOUSE (it's really addicting!) then sleeping over till the morn...
sunday - dragon boat practice from 9:30am-1:30...Japan Day at Bechtel for the food till about 2:30...trip to Jack in the crack for some more food -yay asian chicken salad...then my sister wanted me to do some stuff for our mom's mother's day gift which took a while..then i showered (funny story, well not really)...then, i cancelled going to the oxford reunion because i had so much work to do and it'd be awkward because well haha yeah...sent some emails, calculated my science GPA and decided that if i dont want to take Human Nutrition for a letter grade it's cool cuz i have about a B average..hahah, im such a lazy bum, then alison invited me to eat, so i went to subway and dined wit her and gordon and yan and sam...then it was back to the house where i had some tea and did some facebooking.................then i got started working on the lecture notes....then my mommy called and i talked to her for a good half hour...ummmm..yep! and throughout this time i've facebook chatted with lauren and justin and gchatted with david. wooooo
hahha, anyways so i really just want to be happy. i'm very content at this moment because i'm really warm in my clothes and super comfy...i really want to sleep but i shouldn't. anyways, i'm excited to be graduating and going home (well i guess after PNG) because i keep thinking about how people don't live forever and accidents happen and like...well anyway, i just don't want to regret not spending more time with the people i love. you gotta enjoy life ya know? that's what i learned from the chileans...they did the whole work hard now, get rewarded later bit-the whole delayed gratification thing - but like they knew how to live life, naw what i mean? so much love and happiness...dang. lol, sometimes i feel like just running off and geting married and starting a family and just living life day by day and just being happy knowing that i'm taking care of my family...but knowing me i guess i'd feel a little selfish and not too happy because i sorta kinda want to make a difference in the world. lol. maybe if i had grown up in another country, like vietnam, i could do something like that, but i dunno.......my thoughts are incoherent cuz i'm hella tired.
anyways, i gotta get back to working. i gots a busy few days ahead. :)
so anyways, i'm trying not to stress too much cuz that's just taking years away from my life. though not sleeping isn't helping either! ahhhh. anyway, i'm going to just relax cuz everything's going to be just fine...eddie said so, no unnecessary worrying...there are worse things in the world. hahaha.
i guess i've already internalized that without knowing because i've been "slacking off" like crazy. by slacking off ij ust mean hanging out. i really haven't been all that lazy to tell you the truth. i've been hanging out with different groups of friends, taking care of other matters..it's just rough with my school schedule cuz classes are way spread out and lots of them are activity so i get tired..on top of that i've been teaching the asthma classes, trying to get the family resource training thing done so i can volunteer in the pediatric ER and working on this PNG stuff, which is really what's taking up all my time. so i haven't been slacking, attn has just been diverted away from school stuff to other stuff...i've been doing shitloads. lol.
let's see...
friday - lunch with TINA, dinner with LEILA (i think i wrote about this already), sib outing - gelayo gusto and TAP, then working until 5am
saturday - showing mai (from the vietnam access program) around from noon - 3:15pm,
swimming - OMG I LOVEEE FAMILY DAY AT THE POOL IM TOTALLY GOING BACK AGAIN -from about 4-5pm; then i took mai to the caltrain; then i went to eat at sushi tomo with YAN and ALISON..omg, that was SOOOOOOOOO FUN, i can't explain it...it was just really chill and relax and just hanging out with friends....then Charity Fashion Show afterward (oh we watched what what in the butt beforehand)..then "partying" in gordon and edwin's room, which was watching HOUSE (it's really addicting!) then sleeping over till the morn...
sunday - dragon boat practice from 9:30am-1:30...Japan Day at Bechtel for the food till about 2:30...trip to Jack in the crack for some more food -yay asian chicken salad...then my sister wanted me to do some stuff for our mom's mother's day gift which took a while..then i showered (funny story, well not really)...then, i cancelled going to the oxford reunion because i had so much work to do and it'd be awkward because well haha yeah...sent some emails, calculated my science GPA and decided that if i dont want to take Human Nutrition for a letter grade it's cool cuz i have about a B average..hahah, im such a lazy bum, then alison invited me to eat, so i went to subway and dined wit her and gordon and yan and sam...then it was back to the house where i had some tea and did some facebooking.................then i got started working on the lecture notes....then my mommy called and i talked to her for a good half hour...ummmm..yep! and throughout this time i've facebook chatted with lauren and justin and gchatted with david. wooooo
hahha, anyways so i really just want to be happy. i'm very content at this moment because i'm really warm in my clothes and super comfy...i really want to sleep but i shouldn't. anyways, i'm excited to be graduating and going home (well i guess after PNG) because i keep thinking about how people don't live forever and accidents happen and like...well anyway, i just don't want to regret not spending more time with the people i love. you gotta enjoy life ya know? that's what i learned from the chileans...they did the whole work hard now, get rewarded later bit-the whole delayed gratification thing - but like they knew how to live life, naw what i mean? so much love and happiness...dang. lol, sometimes i feel like just running off and geting married and starting a family and just living life day by day and just being happy knowing that i'm taking care of my family...but knowing me i guess i'd feel a little selfish and not too happy because i sorta kinda want to make a difference in the world. lol. maybe if i had grown up in another country, like vietnam, i could do something like that, but i dunno.......my thoughts are incoherent cuz i'm hella tired.
anyways, i gotta get back to working. i gots a busy few days ahead. :)
Friday, May 2, 2008
yay for bumming food
i ate at suites today with TINA. man, on friday's they have brunch! good stuff. anyway, i've decided that i'm going to actually get work done today. then later tonight it's SIB TIME. wooo hooo!
oh, i finally paid my parking ticket! yay... rather, i wrote out the check, which still needs to be sent. tee heee.
oh, i finally paid my parking ticket! yay... rather, i wrote out the check, which still needs to be sent. tee heee.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
still slacking
yayyyy! so i almost skipped class today. lol. i'm so freakin lazy. i kinda want to take my one real class pass/fail. hahaha. anyway i had lunch with JUDY today @ murray! yayayayay. fun stuff. then i went to yoga, and that was a lot of fun. then i went back to the house and couldn't get internet cuz it was being dumb so i went to sleep till about 5pm. then i came onto campus to use the internet and have dinner @ storey with DIANNA and JENNY, and STANY was there too! :) fun stuff. i also saw kathleen there. yippeee.
now im at trancos. gordon and david are smashing brothers while i'm just chillaxin and working on these lecture notes. we're going to vi's play tonight! yay R&L. :)
now im at trancos. gordon and david are smashing brothers while i'm just chillaxin and working on these lecture notes. we're going to vi's play tonight! yay R&L. :)
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