hahaha

don't know what it is. i must be pms-ing again but i got hella annoyed today. it wasn't even at anyone in particular. well lol i'm lying but i wont talk about that here.

anyway, i'm usually really touchy. john would say i flirt with guys but i dont like to use that phrase because i usually say that about hootchies and i dont really think that i am one, but i guess i am a little touchy sometimes. anyway, i may do it to people but oftentimes i kinda dont like it when people touch me without me intitating it or letting them know its okay. lately a lot of people of people have been touchy and stuff and nothing that i really initiated - not to say that it's not my fault - it's just bothering me...a lot actually. it's nothing bad, but i feel kinda whore-ish when they do that - put their head on my shoulder, put their arms around me, rub my back, etc... (i'm referring to guys, not girls, especially alison! i <3 alison!) anyway, it's my fault because i allowed it to begin with and i was the one to initiate it in the past (like "hey what's up?" *slap on the back* or *arm around teh shoulder* or *big hug* when i needed a hug). but i gotta stop doing that..lol. cuz it's leaving me in awkward situations. OH, and this is especially true for people I DONT KNOW. for example, i wont use any names, but there is a certain person who im friendly to as in i say hi and stuff, high fives and stuff, but who i never like touched like for a hug or anything, and this person put their arms around me in an awkward position. ho. hahaha. anyway...

lol, now to contrast that with some action i've been getting. so i get kisses all the time from my friend from oxford, but thats cool cuz he gay. and then the other day at senior night i got a kiss from an old friend, which is cool because i know it doesnt mean anything. it's like HEYYY long time no see! for some people it's a natural thing and i understand that. for other people, they got other associations with it and it makes me feel sick.

anyway, i gotta stop with this bad moodness. i think i'm going to take a break from the usual group for a little while. as in, the whole group all together. individual is cool...well certain individuals. HAH! gosh, i'm so bitter...my mom asked me if i was feeling tired recently like i used to and yep i'm tired all the time and i dont have the energy to do jack. but i lied! HAH. yeah...anyway, i dont like leaving these blog entries on a negative note so........

happy thoughts. once i finish this lecture, i'll have a lot less to doooooo. OH, and i'm going to probably skip my meeting tomorrow or half of it so i can go to hip hop classsssss because it makes mee sooo happy!!! umm, i'm hungry and i might get fooood. ummmmmmmmm....YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


i'm glad i'm blogging. it makes me feel good. i can vent. i dont like that other people are reading it because it makes me feel slightly vulnerable, but eh, only slightly. whatevers. :D

OH another thing! i'm meeting up with my best friend from first grade. yang is awesome. pahua and i are now friends on facebook! i'm going to meet up wiht my pwr1 teacher who james and i LOVE. ummmmmmmmmm.... my futon is SO COMFORTABLE. yayyyy!!!!!!!!!


oh BOY. k, time to do something. goodnight!