singapore, baby!

back to modern society. good times. im currently at mcdonalds in the singapore airport. i loveeee this internet corner they got goin on right hurr. :) happy times. we're staying at the crown plaza hotel rightin the airport. hella nice, hella expensive. wooooot. im so excited about these next few weeks. its gon be a paaaarty!!!!!!

hahah

yep i'm doing it again. i like how i always sabotage myself. it's okay though. :) this time, there are fewer things at stake...there are only things to gain, i think. enough of this weirdness, now about my day.


went to SF. hung out with vu and this gur, i forgot her name. eeek. came back. napped. volunteered. ate jack in the crack.


PARTYYYYYYY

fatass

nooo i just ran out of ink and i have to make 8 copies of my presentation for chinese tomorrow. looks like ima have to go to kinkos of whatever in the morning. bitches!

hahahaha. sooooooooo vi and i made a jack in the box run and we were cackling and laughing like madwomen cuz we were like wth are we doing cuz it was like midnight. we ordered a shiet load of food too! HAHAHA fun times. WEEEEEEEEE.

anyway, i have to prepare for my chinese presentation tomorrow. i'm hella excited but i need more time to practice and im about to fall asleep. ballllls.

a really good day

i just sorta got back from volunteering @ FRD in the pediatric er. man, gooood times. i volunteered from 7 until about 1030, NO BREAK! i was pooped and still am. anyway, i started off my shift talking to a few families, and then there wasn't too much to do. then i ended up babysitting. then i ended up watching the front desk. then i went around the rooms and asked ppl if they wanted something to drink. people are SUPER appreciative and it's soo awesome and amazing because it's such an easy thing to do. there's a neato coffee/tea machine in the lounge. i also learned what a "hat" was -> a baby bed pan. lol, i originaly thought they needed a hat, so i asked for one and everyone was like uh..use a sheet. LOL. funny funny. anyway, families were really appreciative and i was so grateful. one of the er docs introduced himself and thanked me and i was like wow awesome you're welcome. i kept a spanish speaker company because there were few ppl who could speak spanish and it was great! he was fun to talk to and he said my spanish was good. woo hoo. i got the hang of looking up resources for FRD and got pretty quick at it. boy, i really waas a hit with the drinks. lol. a even got some familly some juice and crackers. they really must have loved me. haha jk. it was a really fun time today and im very thankful that i was able to help people feel better even if just a tiny bit. it kept me energized the entire time though i could feel my energy dying towards the end.

what else made the day so great? so aside from the inconsistent sleeping, i actualy was able to get something ofan essay translated and turned in for chinese. AT LAST. i had freaken all weekend to do it but i just never did and so it hit hard at the end. it was way difficult because my essay is on Antoni Gaudi and his architecture, and i didnt already know many words in chinese that had to do with architecture. anyway, that was a big relief. i got out of class early and i had a full lunch - the first time on a monday this quarter. it was soo yumm.

OH SHIT, i just realized i didnt pick up my yearbook. oh well.

anyway, i had my first lunch - i got subway. and then i tried to get my yearbook but hte line was hella long andi had to leave to union city to teach the asthma class. BOY, what a PARTY it was teaching this class. these kids were sooo cute and we got to see them go from being super shy the first day to being way talkative in the end. the parents and kids were very appreciative, and totally cut us mucho slack for the pizza being way late! stupid pizza ordering thingie was all screwy. oh well, that's over with. :) it was a lot of fun teaching with will,too! he's way cool. the kids were soooo sweeet though and so cuteeee. one of 'em gave me a hug at the end! :D i took pictures of them and wanted a picture WITH them but i was like eh whatever. anyway, fun fun times. i just hope they learne dsomething. a lot of them seemed to be a little clueless on the post test at the end, but i gues there was just a wide range of learning.

let's see...after that....

i picked up my chinese essay with all the corrections from liao laoshi! woo she's awesome. im way thankful for that cuz it was sorta a crap essay. then i walked over to TBW and hung out with gordon! yay. gosh what an entertaining class. our teacher really likes gordon cuz he's all energetic and dances outta nowhere and can really bounce. lol.

anyway, after that i went back to the house to wash my hair cuz i felt gross -couldnt shower cuz i had no more clothes. then i came back to campus to pick up catherine for the PNG meeting @ kelly's house at 5. we chatted, i picked up my medicine/supply bags and lugged 'em to my car. then i went to hip hop at like...6:05ish. FUN TIMES. umm...then...i changed and hung out in the car for a lil while, made a phone call to the family that i talked to in the ER a few weeks ago -haha i slacked for sure. then i drove over to the hospital and BAM, skip to the first paragraph. oh i should note that i totally skipped dinner BUT im eating it now and it's way good..cold rice, papaya salad, pickles, tomatoes, mmmmmmmmmh..and i stole a water from vi. i'm so dehydrated and tired! but anyway, i'm glad that i had an awesome day...perhaps i was energized this weekend despite the exhausting festivities.

anyway, the partying starts thursday. HOLLER BALLERS.

emo

FUCK im so fucking emo. AHHHHHHHHHHH i quit. HRMPH.

2.5 hours away

and i feel like im going to be the biggest jackass ever...

HAHAH, gotta pull it together gloria! you can do it!!!!!!!!! i feel like i cant be too much of a punk because i feel like there will already be drama for your mama. *crossing my fingers* i hope not though!

have you ever screwed up anyone's life?

i have. well, i'm pretty sure i have. and not just one person's. i think for every person i make happy, i screw over like 3. i am pretty sure i screwed over or screwed up at least 2 people long term. hahahahaha. but i'm not the only one...not that that's a consolation or anything.

man, i used to talk to jigga about all this shiet but i think he's working on getting a girl so i'll bother him about this stuff later. plus, it's way awesome to writeit all out. wooooooooo.

i'm feeling anxious. im not too sure why.

yay, im chatting with a friend in egypt! :)

good friday

yesterday was a fun day! i went to class in the morning, skipped out on my appointment in SF, and met up with chris around 1230!!!! mannnn, he's so awesome! we talked about our current plans, about our lives, and about our childhood (present, future, and past if ya didnt catch that). it was awesome! do you know how cool it is to be such an integral part to someone's memory of their childhood? man. totally awesome. so apparently i taught him how to draw a ninja fox when we were younger and he still has the drawing! it made my <3 so happy...and he taught me how to get people out in 4 square. apparently we both got in trouble once during 4 square for colluding. lol, i think i remember that. oh yeah! and he remembered when i got a card pulled in 2nd grade because the teacher was like stop playing with the coins cuz we were spinning 'em and i kept playing with 'em and then i had to pull a card and then he said i was crying and he felt bad for me. LOL. i totally remembered because it was so traumatzing but i had to clarify that it wasn't oon purpose. i was trying to be super extra careful to not drop the coin and then of course i dorpped it. :( hahahaha. gosh, good times. we also went on a quest to find the big "C" - well to drive up to it. unfortunatley we were unsuccessful but we shall find it some day! oh and we had lunch and it took me like 10 hours to eat my food cuz it was a huge ass sandwich and then a lake formed under my sandwich cuz it got all soggy and he just laughed at me and took pictures which was kinda messed up but it's cool as long as he was entertained. lol. gosh he's grown up to be a handsome young man. man, high five gloria for having good looking friends. oh he sent me this link. it's so awesome, check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JKKl95Ttrc
man, he totally has a special place in my <3 and like it'll be forever and forever. how awesome is that!!!! i'm not trying to be all showy offy but i just feel really fortunate and lucky that i can say i hung out with my best friend from first grade. dang, who says that!?!? :P


i hung out with him until about 4, then i went over to alan and vu's to just say hi. i ended up staying a lot longer. alan's sister cary was there too! she's so funny..a female version of alan. i was dying the entire time cuz they were so fereakin funny. first i went to peet's with vu and i got a brownie and the new berry pomegranite tea thing - a smoothie type drink. we talked about life and relationships...i'm glad that inspite of my major flaws vu is still my friend. or rather, he isn't going to judge me too much. it was nice to have that conversation with him. :) anyway, we walked back to the apartment and met up with cary and alan. alan is going to live in mountain view from like july to deecember for this internship thingie! how awesome!!!!!!!! too bad i won't be around. =/ oh well. i guess i might come visit. we all ended up eating at naan n curry. it was good stuff but i think my tandoori was way too burnt at some parts which i ate anyway so i was startin to get a sorethroat at the end. it was hella fun though just chatting up a storm with them.

i left around 8 to try n make it back for alison's concert. i think that was kinda stupid of me because (1) why rush back and make it late for the concert when (2) i really felt like hanging otu with them some more and when (3) i could just go on saturday. anyway, i think i was really feeling it bad when i thought about my first grade best friend and kinda missed him cuz i feltlike i shoulda spent more time with him whether or not he wanted to. lol. i wont elaborate but anyway, i guess you could say kinda missed him. man...my childhood - well the way i remember it - was so awesome. anyway, i'm over it.

i came back for the concert which was hella awesome but i guess i missed some of the best parts. it was such an amazing feeling to come trhough the doors and see that big mass of people on stage like just making such beautiful music. it was very heart warming and i felt like crying. probably more because i missed my friends... anyway, it was way cool to watch and there was a reception afterwards. then i dropped of some of wisterialane and headed home. i didn't think i was going to be very fun and i didntfeel like trying to be fun so i left. that's what happens when i rip myself away from people...i should know that by now. all the times i had to leave home after such a short period of time. i mean it's always "too short" of a time or wahtever, but there's definitely a way too short like you are totally be torn away. yep.

anyway, i talked to chris on line for a little and we swapped pictures!!! then i talked to alan on line for a million hours because cary wentclubbing and he wanted someone to talk to. that f-er. lol. just kidding i love him. but dang, to keep me up cuz i was hella tired we started talking about different things and we ended up on a sensitive subject for me. what a ho cuz then cary got back and then i was all awake but they were going to sleep. lol. anyway, just reminded me of the some messed up shit i used to do and well i guess currently still do. anyway, i thought of that song relient k - who i am hates who i've been.

ohhhhhhhh, i forgot. i also felt really jacked up too because james asked me to fill in for him at the family resource desk but i couldnt so there wasn't anybody wrking there today. i know that it's hisfault for not being able to do it, but i really wanted to help out and they really need to people there. ahh. anywya, tha tmade me feel horrible. to not be able tot hlep out because i was screwing around with friends. ah...yep.

i was doing so well for the past week and a half. i seemed kinda normal. hung out like a normal perosn..but i hope i'm not weird today.. yeah, friends are fun and awesome but distance makes the heart grow fonder. i think i need some familial love right now. hahaha. oh boy. thank goodness for this blog and for being able to vent. dang.

headache

so i finally turned in the lecture notes at last! woot. i skipped class for it. :)

gordon came over for lunch! it was me gordon and vi. we had leftover vietnamese food from the PNG packing party at Kelly's on monday. it was fun times. then we all went to campus and went our separate ways - i to yoga, gordon to trancos, and vi to class.

hmm....im drawing a blank for what happened after. oh yeah! i took a nap. lol. then i played tennis with elizabeth around 5:30pm. we hit until IMs started, which was about 6. MANNNNN...IMs were sooo stressful today. i can't play competitions/matches..it's too stressful. it's not only stressful because i just want to win AND play well, but because my team was totally counting on me. so i lost a match to this girl who i defnitely should not have lost too and i was going nutso! my brain was hurting so much. i redeemed myself in doubles and we won 25-24. so close..omg. if we lost i would have gone completely crazy. i feel sooo bad when it's my fault cuz if we had lost it would have been my fault. anyway, this is so frivolous. BLAH.

ummmmmm...afterward, i had dinner at jerry with LT and tad. it was a party - spaghetti and a drumstick! yay. then i visited justin and meg. then i went back to the house pretty exhausted. i took a shower. then amy and i were supposed to have a boba date, but it was too late by the time we met up on campus, so we ended up going to stern latenite to hang out with the others.

ummmmmmmmm...and that's the end!

just now donny was chatting with me. lol. oh boy oh boy, i'm so happy for him! he wants to go back to school. wastewater management. i'll see if i can find some degree programs in san diego that offer that degree. im excited for him. :) but he called me sweetie and i had to yell at him for it. oh boy...and he called to talk on the phone but i ignored it! yayy. lol, i'll probably hang out with him back in sd.

nowwwww...time to get down to business. or not. my head hurts. lol. freakin A. my loose racquet strings are stressin me out. lol. i have to write 2 short papers and a response thingie soon. lol. maybe i'll just sleep. ;)

goodnight!!!

good times

i did pretty awesome on my nutrition midterm. thank you vi and old exams!!! woot. dang, i think i also do a lot better with less pressure cuz i totally am taking it for pass/fail now. lol. woot.

i got a lot accomplished today. worked on the lecture notes, went to pick up boxes of supplies at the hospital and dropped 'em off at kelly's house, then caught the tail end of class and picked up my midterm. got back at the house around 11am. now im going to take a dump, work some more on my lecture notes, and then meet up with james chu and ju yon (pwr1) for luncho at olives. then ima go to yoga prolly. then come back shower, and hopefully finish lecture notes. maybe have dinner at storey...then sometime later SENIOR NIGHT BITCHES. i was listening to usher - love in this club and pitbull-go girl and i'll got all excited about senior night. it best be good.

=)

homewrecker.

that i am. nothing more to say.

pooped

today finds me much more content. im not quite sure what it was...
maybe it was my blind rage yesterday and sending some emails that helped cool me down,
perhaps it was the 8 hours of sleep. perhaps acing my harder than usual chinese quiz. actually, i think it was the way awesomely cute and sweet kids from the asthma class. sooooooooooo cute!

anyway i went toTBW for te first time on a monday in months! then i went to my meeting and skipped out early for hip hop, my hero. we learned the sickest routine today - theres a battle involved! lauren and i busted out the moves - it was sooo fun! lauren is soo cool!!! oh, i saw hip hop boy yay!!! which still made me happy even though he was with this girl. i busted out one of those - i see you smiles but i'm going to look away before it gets awkward. i approve of the girl too if she is his gf cuz she's pretty cute. plus, when dtrieu and gordon were being goofy she kinda laughed and kinda had that look like she thought they were cute, so i was like awww, yay. so i approve. any cool kid who's anybody has to think dtrieu and gordon are cute. oh, and for second i was like, wow what if hip hop boy is gay? then i immediately put it out of my mind. :) i highly doubt he is! so hip hop was hella fun.

i bummed food afterwards at wilbur. then i hung out in trancos and practiced the dance.

then i went to the hospital to get my typhoid shot. it was either the butt or the arm. i chose the arm so nwo i'm going ot have a dead arm for hte rest of the week. oh well, i dont mind. i DID not want it in my butt! hahah

since then i've showered and done nothing. :) i'm sooo sleepy.

hahaha

don't know what it is. i must be pms-ing again but i got hella annoyed today. it wasn't even at anyone in particular. well lol i'm lying but i wont talk about that here.

anyway, i'm usually really touchy. john would say i flirt with guys but i dont like to use that phrase because i usually say that about hootchies and i dont really think that i am one, but i guess i am a little touchy sometimes. anyway, i may do it to people but oftentimes i kinda dont like it when people touch me without me intitating it or letting them know its okay. lately a lot of people of people have been touchy and stuff and nothing that i really initiated - not to say that it's not my fault - it's just bothering me...a lot actually. it's nothing bad, but i feel kinda whore-ish when they do that - put their head on my shoulder, put their arms around me, rub my back, etc... (i'm referring to guys, not girls, especially alison! i <3 alison!) anyway, it's my fault because i allowed it to begin with and i was the one to initiate it in the past (like "hey what's up?" *slap on the back* or *arm around teh shoulder* or *big hug* when i needed a hug). but i gotta stop doing that..lol. cuz it's leaving me in awkward situations. OH, and this is especially true for people I DONT KNOW. for example, i wont use any names, but there is a certain person who im friendly to as in i say hi and stuff, high fives and stuff, but who i never like touched like for a hug or anything, and this person put their arms around me in an awkward position. ho. hahaha. anyway...

lol, now to contrast that with some action i've been getting. so i get kisses all the time from my friend from oxford, but thats cool cuz he gay. and then the other day at senior night i got a kiss from an old friend, which is cool because i know it doesnt mean anything. it's like HEYYY long time no see! for some people it's a natural thing and i understand that. for other people, they got other associations with it and it makes me feel sick.

anyway, i gotta stop with this bad moodness. i think i'm going to take a break from the usual group for a little while. as in, the whole group all together. individual is cool...well certain individuals. HAH! gosh, i'm so bitter...my mom asked me if i was feeling tired recently like i used to and yep i'm tired all the time and i dont have the energy to do jack. but i lied! HAH. yeah...anyway, i dont like leaving these blog entries on a negative note so........

happy thoughts. once i finish this lecture, i'll have a lot less to doooooo. OH, and i'm going to probably skip my meeting tomorrow or half of it so i can go to hip hop classsssss because it makes mee sooo happy!!! umm, i'm hungry and i might get fooood. ummmmmmmmm....YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


i'm glad i'm blogging. it makes me feel good. i can vent. i dont like that other people are reading it because it makes me feel slightly vulnerable, but eh, only slightly. whatevers. :D

OH another thing! i'm meeting up with my best friend from first grade. yang is awesome. pahua and i are now friends on facebook! i'm going to meet up wiht my pwr1 teacher who james and i LOVE. ummmmmmmmmm.... my futon is SO COMFORTABLE. yayyyy!!!!!!!!!


oh BOY. k, time to do something. goodnight!

im a wuss

so i was talking to my mom on the phone and she was tellin me how much cousin is now a lawyer, like she just graduated from law school at brown. that's pretty darn awesome!!! too bad instead of feeling happy for her, i feel like people are looking towards me to see what i'm going to do. well F-ers! they can just leave me alone. i hate the attention. i just want to do my own thing...

*sigh* i knew this might happen. but i'm just going to keep reminding myself why i'm going home and why i'm going to be doing what i'm doing. i keep talking about money but i really don't care about it - only insofar as it'll take me to different countries so i can be freee as a bird. anyway, my thinking my get a little incoherent here on out but alll the more funnnnnnnnn.

so why am i taking time off/going home to san diego? well im taking time off in the first place because i kinda slacked with applications and taking the mcat (because i went abroad at all the wrong times for apps but at the right times for awesome weather and a break!!!!). also, my grades kinda suck cuz i just started the biotrack and was kinda like, why waste time changing the major and trying to fit in both pre-med classes and whatever major i chose.. and i felt like if i chose an easier major then i'd be selling myself short..now i think i probably should have done humbio but im still not sure cuz i dunno if i woulda been able to study abroad two times!!!..yep, so there are those reasons for taking time off..OH YEAH and cuz school SUCKS ASS, well i lie. i sometimes enjoy school (when it's only classes and i dont have to wrry about being social or extracurriculars). ohh yeah, and another reason is cuz i want to live life in the real world for a little bit before getting back into school again. the world is very different as a high schol student versus a college graduate and im going to see for myself what an exciting world it can be and what a scary world it can be. *wink*

moving on..why san diego?..for one it's the best place on earff. awesome weather awesome people and my family - and as much as i love 'em i know im going to want to be spending less tiem at home after a few weeks. i think i just have a problem staying in any one place for a really long time. but yeah, my family and friends, and sometimes i think that a special person is there so umm yeah i dont like to think about it/talk about it but i think this is a big part, too. man, some peole in so cal are just so purty. also, in terms of an underprivileged community that i want to work with, what better place than san diego, a place where i grew up and that's right next to the border with lots of immigrants and ppl who really are disadvantaged. it's teh whole bringing it back to your community bit. so there's that reason...and now i have some connections with the american lung association and that medical-legal partnership (which is serioulsy something i've been wanting to work with since freshman year but never got around to and which could definitely change my career interests). on top of that, i have connections with the ucsd medical center, which i really haven't used but could take advnatage of if need be. i did an internship at the scripps research institute in high school, and moreee. so i got hookups if all else fails - the the TSRI hookup might be kinda awkward so i'm going to try and avoid that.

OHHHHHHHHH, one of hte major reasons why i decided not to apply to med schol this year is time. so yeah, i went to oxford in the winter, and that kinda made it difficult to study for mcats etc, not that i would have cuz it's pretty intense. but the major thing is my decision to go to papua new guinea. i was really hesitant to go because iwanted to take the time to work on my applications for med school and stuff. if i dotn do them now, it'll be 2 years AT LEAST until med school, which seems like a long time. but having started preparing for PNG, i've been really excited writing the lectures, and learning about hwo to perform different exams. it's been great learning so much, and it just feels so rewarding. i've spent sooo much more time this quarater on my lectures and PNG than any of my classes. also, i really want to put my skills into use which i defnitely will 3 full weeks of clinics (each day for like 8 or 9 hours straight) - i'll be able to practice exams, present patients, come up with diagnoses, do differential diagnoses (this is my hope anyway), prescribe medications. how awesome is that?! i really want to get good at it too so that if i end up going to med school i dont look like a complete idiot. i really dislike premeds cuz they're such dorks. they're like wannabe doctors, which annoys me like SOOO MUCH, ("oh you;re not feeling well? well, how long you've been feeling this way? can you describe the pain? what'd you eat beforeyou started feeling this way?") but honestly if you want to be a doctor i gues syou gotta act like one. there's got to be that retarded transition period --kinda like puberty..that awkward transition. hahaha, man those were good days. i remember when i would watch super hunched over so that no one could see my barely existent chest because it meant that i was growing up and i didnt want to grow up. lol, actually i think im still going thru puberty. *wink* hahah

anyway, i had to write that all out to remind myself of what i'm doing because i keep getting caught up in everyone else's craziness of what they're doing and finding a job and stuff.
i think for me, what's important to focus on is gettin ghte most out of PNG, then really cracking down and getting a good score on the MCAT. after that, hopefully, i should be in good shape. i really like my plan for what i'm doing after i graduate. it makes me happy. i've been talking a lot/whining a lot about how i shoulda got a job that paid good money, and that would have been awesome, but if it took away from seeing my family/helping people/volunteering, i dont know how happy that would have made me. i think i'm concerned about my parents though..like they'veinvested a lot in me. i know they want me to be happy and i hope thye realize that what i'm going to do is going to make me happy, but everytime it comes up i just get kinda upset cuz i feel like they like uhhh what are u doing with yourself? and its a perfectly fine question to ask but i feel like just keeping it to myself. lol. anyway, my thoughts really are getting all scattered because people are i-ming me...sooooooooooooooooo with that said...

-i have to make the most of PNG because it'll be my last trip for a while
-i have to do uber well on the MCAT cuz my grades are shit
-i have to contact the point people from those programs in san diego(bc it sounds now like my parents think working at the restaurant alone will be a waste of my stanford edu, i can see why they feel that way lol but i'll still help out)
-stop hanging out so much because i'm wasting so much money on gas...or crack down on ppl and have them pitch in but i'd feel kinda guilty doing that cuz i never have asked for gas

ummmmmmmm...and avoid certain people that have been pissing the SHIT out of me. you know how some people, like if they're annoying or like whatevers, just being AROUND them sets you off? it's like, they dont have to say anything but just being near them you wanna punch 'em. i sorta feel that way about someone, but i dont know why yet so i think i should try n avoid 'em but i dont thikn i'll be able to for a while so i'm gonna have to suck it up and act a FOOOL! :)

oh boy....



and SMILEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

my heart hurts

literally. i think it's when i get a little stressed.

i'm going to go pick up edwin and steve from the airport. i feel bad though because originally i was going to go at 11 and get both of 'em cuz edwin's was coming in at 10am but edwin pushed his back till 1125am, which means steve will have to wait 1/2 an hour. lol. it's funny but i prefer edwin waiting 1 hour to steve waiting 1/2 an hour. i never really get to do any favors for steve, and now i can, but he's going to have to wait, because i'm just stingy enough that i'm not willing to drive back n forth to campus.


also, i have some work to do, but edwin is volunteering at the health fair which is something i always wanted to go to but i'm not sure if i should. i was thinking of getting my haircut, and also i need to get my lectures done. like absolutely. and i dont feel like not sleeping anymore. it'd only save me like 2 hours if i didn't go volunteering, but i still think it'd help, even if i just slept or something for those 2 hours. you know?

anyway, i was just planning on heading out to borders, but my best friend from first grade just i-med me. lucky butt. he's graduating on the 23rd. hahah. <3

i hate being stingy

but im about to put in another $70 for gas. i just bought gas last week!!! dang. =( stupid truck. well, no, i <3 my truck cuz it's from homeeee.

i need a haircut. that's going to run me some more money.

fucking a. money sucks.

what's worse is that i could probably save a shitload of $ if I managed it better. If I didn't procrastinate on buying my plane tickets, didn't go out to eat, stopped driving super far away on a whim, but i guess those things are worth it if they keep me sane.

haha i guess the moral of the story is i need to get involved in the drug business or get with someone rich...probably the former. lol.

hace mucho calor!

it's hot!!!!!!

so just some updates:

Monday-dinner with yang va lor!
Wednesday-AA awards to support yang va lor and i saw saaac people and other alumni!!!
Thursday-nutrition midterm, IM tennis, and then senior night!


dang it's been hella hella hot. shiet. anyway, i'm bumming around in alison's room because it's so damn cooool. she has an AC. heck yah. weeeeeeeeeee


camila - perderte de nuevo. (thanks julie kim!!!! :D)

a letter

dear hip hop boy:

thanks for dancing near me in class today. it made me all happy. i think you're pretty cute and a good dancer but i think you may be a little young for me. i hope you know i think you're swell even if i don't show it. i hope you don't think i don't notice you because i do. i don't know your name or anything about you but i actually like it this way. take care, hip hop boy.

sincerely,
the girl who watches your every move *wink*

OH MY GOSH!

dang, i cant believe these stinky lectures are taking forever to write.maybe cuz mybrain'shalf dead when im trying to write them. lol. so yesterday i woke up at 4:30am to get started on work, and today i woke up at 2:44am. jeeze. it was supposed to be a nap..i think i went to take my nap at like 12? anyway, just finishing up that one lecture took me freakiin 3 hours. i'm so tired. so tired. my body is tired. lol. weeeeeeeeeee... so i have one more lecture to go. hopefully i can get that done today or tomorrow. BALLS, i say!

but before then, i have a lil project and a study to quiz for..LOL..quiz to study for both at 9:30am! wooooooooo i have 4 hours before class starts. do i nap? do i just truck on through? AHAHAHAH oh boy!!!!!!!!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. :)

this colbie caillat cd has been keepin me goin all night long. woooo.

ghoang@stanfordalumni.org

man, i'm sore as a mofo. dragonboating really got me...dang. i need a massage. hahah.

anyway, i'm looking forward to stretching it all out in yoga tomorrow - that is, if i'm not even MORE sleep-deprived. dang. i have problems!

it's cinco de mayo - happy birthday john quach!

man...i really want a massage. :)

don't worry, be happy

gosh, so i have sooo much to do! those stinky lectures are taking forever. at first i was really excited to write them, and i still am cuz i'm learning so much, it's just taking a long time and i'm always tireeed. ahhhh.

so anyways, i'm trying not to stress too much cuz that's just taking years away from my life. though not sleeping isn't helping either! ahhhh. anyway, i'm going to just relax cuz everything's going to be just fine...eddie said so, no unnecessary worrying...there are worse things in the world. hahaha.

i guess i've already internalized that without knowing because i've been "slacking off" like crazy. by slacking off ij ust mean hanging out. i really haven't been all that lazy to tell you the truth. i've been hanging out with different groups of friends, taking care of other matters..it's just rough with my school schedule cuz classes are way spread out and lots of them are activity so i get tired..on top of that i've been teaching the asthma classes, trying to get the family resource training thing done so i can volunteer in the pediatric ER and working on this PNG stuff, which is really what's taking up all my time. so i haven't been slacking, attn has just been diverted away from school stuff to other stuff...i've been doing shitloads. lol.

let's see...
friday - lunch with TINA, dinner with LEILA (i think i wrote about this already), sib outing - gelayo gusto and TAP, then working until 5am

saturday - showing mai (from the vietnam access program) around from noon - 3:15pm,
swimming - OMG I LOVEEE FAMILY DAY AT THE POOL IM TOTALLY GOING BACK AGAIN -from about 4-5pm; then i took mai to the caltrain; then i went to eat at sushi tomo with YAN and ALISON..omg, that was SOOOOOOOOO FUN, i can't explain it...it was just really chill and relax and just hanging out with friends....then Charity Fashion Show afterward (oh we watched what what in the butt beforehand)..then "partying" in gordon and edwin's room, which was watching HOUSE (it's really addicting!) then sleeping over till the morn...

sunday - dragon boat practice from 9:30am-1:30...Japan Day at Bechtel for the food till about 2:30...trip to Jack in the crack for some more food -yay asian chicken salad...then my sister wanted me to do some stuff for our mom's mother's day gift which took a while..then i showered (funny story, well not really)...then, i cancelled going to the oxford reunion because i had so much work to do and it'd be awkward because well haha yeah...sent some emails, calculated my science GPA and decided that if i dont want to take Human Nutrition for a letter grade it's cool cuz i have about a B average..hahah, im such a lazy bum, then alison invited me to eat, so i went to subway and dined wit her and gordon and yan and sam...then it was back to the house where i had some tea and did some facebooking.................then i got started working on the lecture notes....then my mommy called and i talked to her for a good half hour...ummmm..yep! and throughout this time i've facebook chatted with lauren and justin and gchatted with david. wooooo

hahha, anyways so i really just want to be happy. i'm very content at this moment because i'm really warm in my clothes and super comfy...i really want to sleep but i shouldn't. anyways, i'm excited to be graduating and going home (well i guess after PNG) because i keep thinking about how people don't live forever and accidents happen and like...well anyway, i just don't want to regret not spending more time with the people i love. you gotta enjoy life ya know? that's what i learned from the chileans...they did the whole work hard now, get rewarded later bit-the whole delayed gratification thing - but like they knew how to live life, naw what i mean? so much love and happiness...dang. lol, sometimes i feel like just running off and geting married and starting a family and just living life day by day and just being happy knowing that i'm taking care of my family...but knowing me i guess i'd feel a little selfish and not too happy because i sorta kinda want to make a difference in the world. lol. maybe if i had grown up in another country, like vietnam, i could do something like that, but i dunno.......my thoughts are incoherent cuz i'm hella tired.

anyways, i gotta get back to working. i gots a busy few days ahead. :)

yay for bumming food

i ate at suites today with TINA. man, on friday's they have brunch! good stuff. anyway, i've decided that i'm going to actually get work done today. then later tonight it's SIB TIME. wooo hooo!

oh, i finally paid my parking ticket! yay... rather, i wrote out the check, which still needs to be sent. tee heee.

非常好！

那太好了！我会用中文写！我应该用中文字多了！好了！再见！

still slacking

yayyyy! so i almost skipped class today. lol. i'm so freakin lazy. i kinda want to take my one real class pass/fail. hahaha. anyway i had lunch with JUDY today @ murray! yayayayay. fun stuff. then i went to yoga, and that was a lot of fun. then i went back to the house and couldn't get internet cuz it was being dumb so i went to sleep till about 5pm. then i came onto campus to use the internet and have dinner @ storey with DIANNA and JENNY, and STANY was there too! :) fun stuff. i also saw kathleen there. yippeee.


now im at trancos. gordon and david are smashing brothers while i'm just chillaxin and working on these lecture notes. we're going to vi's play tonight! yay R&L. :)

slacker

that i am. daaaaaaaaaaaaang. stop being so lazy, GLORIA!

i finished my 1st series!!

so i just finished my 1st 2 series of asthma classes at the elementary school in fremont. what a party! it was pretty neat and awesome i just wish the kids could take in everything i was saying. carol said i was a pretty excellent or extraordinary teacher which made me feel super great inside. those kids were a wild bunch - the 2nd class anyway - and it was nice to see them and their parents and to have the party and stuff. lol. anyway, good times. my next series starst next week. let's see if i can survive without carol!

now it's off to PNG meeting. :)

fare thee well.

ketchup

i remember the days when i used to lick it plain. naaasty.

so anyway, the good times have continued. last night i hung out with the usuals, AMY finally graced us with her presence AND ah-lun and pauli cameeeee from berkeley to visit me!!!! (actually they were just bored but lets just say they came cuz they wanted to see meeee) it was a grand ol' party and afterward i hung out with alanandpaul till the wee hours of the morning. we are G.A.P (glori, alan, pauli). tee hee. we were supposed to get tshirts in high school but it never happened. lol. anyway, that was fun.

then today i took kerry and garner out for DIM SUM in cupertino. gooood stuff. it was SOOO nice to see them. i was tired though but it was lots of fun . yayayayayayayy rooomie! and non-roomie!!

then i went to the library and could barely stay awake. i tried to work on the PNG lectures but to no avail. i made soe progress but not nearly as much as i needed to. hahaha. then on the way back to the house i got a call from alison and i ended up going wit her yan gordon and sam to ramen! goooood stuff. we saw marcia (my menteee) and her brother there, also some other stanford alum. thenwe got boba. then headed back to campus.

back at the house i honestly dont remember what happen. i slept till like 10pm. apparently melissa called me and i answered but i have no recollection. i woke up and then my hosuemates and i hung out inmy room. itsnow the hangoutspot cuz its super clean sorta.


k that's all. lol. gooodnight. :D

good times

the past few days have rocked.
i already wrote about thursday and picking up gary at the airport. that evening, i went with david, edwin, sam, and gordon to watch harold and kumar escape from guantanamo bay. it was soooo FUNNY! OMG. i was so tired because it was a midnight showing and past my bedtime but that movie got me crackin up hard. justin and gadson, zach, and ryan were there too! hahah. fun times.

friday morning i took gary to stacks and he really liked the food! it's so damn good. yay high five gloria. then i showed him university ave. and then the house and then introduced him to friends on campus and then back to the house to meet vi and lauren, melissa wasn't here. then we went to gelato! SOO GOOD, its called like gelay gusto or something. SOO FREAKIN good. we didnt really have gelato we had frozen yogurt. YUM. :) we had lots of fun together and vi kept making fun of him because i acted like his mom cuz i kept saying how happy and proud and stuf f i was. CUZ I AM. gooood boy! :)

then i dropped him off on campus and went back to the house. later in the day i played bball and saw this hot guy - i really really hope he wasn't a freshman, and gordon took a stalker picture for me. ;)

then we all had dinner together - it was so crazyyy and AWESOMEE! vi joined us!!! and a random profro! LOL. good times. it was hilarious. good times.

afterward, vy and i went back to the house, i took a long nap. then lauren woke me up so that we could go to the WEST LAG REUNION. in was SOOO FUN. omg. i got to see ARIE and CHRIS and SHIVANI and and a bunch of other folks. started off with playing kings, and then...they busted out...

ROCKBAND!!!!!!!!!!

OMG it was soooo much fun! i played it pretty much the rest of the night. gosh, what a fun night. i got to seee everyone and like talk to people and like..YEAH. oh and i met justin's older brother! hahaha craziness. anyway, we were at french house till like 2am. i was driving. lol. i'm the best driver the whole wide world.


as for today.............
i woke up early, started reading my MCAT book. so i was tempted to not go to PNG, but now i think i want to go. christopher was like, it's not worth to miss out on PNG just for 1 extra point on the MCAT or something like that. but yeah, i'm not sure what to do still, because i have to work on applications AND take the MCAT. i think what i might do if i go to PNG is start working on apps now...and then take the MCAT in the summer. yeah? lol anyway, that was early this morning. then i started reading up on the lectures for PNG because mine sucked and we all have to redo our lectures. then i had some oatmeal. then i talked to john for a lil bit. then i started CLEANING MY ROOOOOOOOOOOOOM. omg. it's such a mess! well now not so much anymore. BUT DAMN. i have so much laundry to do.

hahah jader is visiting lauren and he wants an estanfor shirt too! hahaha. wooo, all of us are going to have estanfor shirts i'm so excited.

catching up

this morning i picked up GARY from the airport @ 8am! WOOOO. i dropped him off at the alumni center and we saw CHRIS KHAVARIAN!

then i had class from 9:30-11am

then i went to white plaza with gordon to give a senior gift but we couldnt find it. activities fair was going on and i ran into a bunch of old people and my "profro"! yay i love gary!

then i had lunch at lag with MICKEY D!! yay he's so cool. go co sib!

then i met up with the usual gang at wilbur and sat for a lil while.

then yoga!

then class with justin, the stem cell.

then i drove home and took a nap.

then dinner with VANG KOU!!!! he's SOOO COOOL, and such a smooth talker. dang. lol. meanwhile i ran into a bunch of other people at manz, and i saw NHA!

yay, then it was IM tennis with LT and the rest of the team.

then it was dinner #2 with LT back at jerry.

now i'm back at the house.

oh boy. i'm FULL.

my second wind

so i was a little stressed because i wanted to do the bare minimum and then graduate, but now i'm starting to think that maybe i shouldnt be so lazy. i went to the stem cell class for the first time today and the lady was HELLA boring, but i think i might still take it because the course description seems interesting and it'd incorporate a lot of disciplines that i'm now interested in. :) policy included! woot. the midterm is next week but i figure if i suck at it, i can just take the class pass no pass and it'd still count. woooo

on that note, like i said before, i think i should get right into taking MCATs and get the whole med school app process on the road if you know what i mean. it'd be nice to stay in SD but i dont know if (1) i can even get into UCSD, and (2) if i'd even want to go there. anyway, yeppers. okay, tis all!

ta ta!

nutrition midterm

so i had my nutrition midterm this morning @ 9:30am. boy was it a party. i started studying around 9pm or 10pm last night, and was exhausted by midnight, so i went to sleep and woke up around 4am and then studied till my exam. actually i took a nap from 5:30am -6am. haha, man i can't believe i procrastinated so badly. anyway, it was worth it --vegas on the weekend, joe visiting sunday, dinner with david -and leila - last night...but never again. haha. i'm so tired.

so..i've been thinking...i think i may withdraw from papua new guinea over the summer. maybe i'll just put the money towards taking an mcat prep class. gosh, so expensive. plus, i'm sorta tired of traveling. i just want to stay in 1 place kinda -> HOME (where my <3 is). heehee. anyway, i'm really leaning towards it but i'm not going to withdraw right away because i'm not sure if it's a temporary feeling and idont want to regret it later.

living life

i sorta feel like early on in life i created these "truisms" by which to live and judge events that happened in life. i just held it them as a given so that i wouldn't have to worry about it much..sorta like "that's just the way that is.." for example. anyway, its okay if it doesnt make sense...the point is i lied to myself and made myself believe and feel different things so i kinda got messed up. hahaha. oh boy, anyway just a thought.

teaching

man, i feel like a suckie teacher. i was really tired today, to the point where my voice was a little hoarse. well i did a lil bit of shouting too - the second class was hella rowdy. i felt like i really held their attention during the game, at which point they were still crazy but at least it was about the game. anyway, i feel like i need to learn about the meds better. i feel like my teaching skills are sorta sporadic - sometimes im a good teacher and sometimes i suck balls. part of the reason i felt off today was cuz i started the class while my co-teacher was on the phone bc we had to get started but it also kinda threw me off. anyway, BLAH. i need to know my material better if i'm going to teach it...

anywho, hopefully as a whole i'll get to be a better teacher after this quarter...and after this summer! wooo. wow, i guess i'm getting lots of teaching experience.
-artspan: teaching kids arts and crafts
-lectures in vietnam medical project
-science in service: science lessons with kids
-ravenswood: tutoring a 1st grader in reading
-ACCESS: high school and college kids; various college level lectures
-TECC: teaching teachers english/how to teach english

and now these asthma classes and in the summer the PNG lectures

despite all this experience, i dont know if i'm actually geetting better at teaching. i think i'm staying the same. i guess it depends on what i'm teaching and the crowd i'm working with.

ahh..i'm tired.

time to do some studying for my MIDTERM. AHH.

joe chan - BREAKFAST!

joe was visiting today! we all played bball and i canceled some dates i had to hang out with him and the others and i saw ALEX and JULIE!!! after bball we helped joe move some of lang's stuff and ate at spice islands. then we got some tapioca express - yummmmmmmmmy - and i took joe moe to the house to chill for a lil, then idropped him off on campus at tressider where we also ran into lang - PERFECT TIMING. it's so great to see everyone and to see that they're doing so well. makes me proud. :)

anyway, time for me to get to work. i have to do some prep for the asthma class tomorrow and i have a MIDTERM TUESDAY for nutrition. i feel like i keep pushing the studying aside but i really should not underestimate it. eeeeek. gotta study!!!!!

okay, goodnight!

vegas

man, it's always so hard to see people from home in the middle of school and for such a short time because i always miss 'em too much afterward. anyways, vegas was sooo. though the main reasons i went were for swimming, tennis, and clubbing, drinking became a recurring theme throughout the trip, from the time i arrived in vegas (i went straight to the yardhouse happy hour straight from the airport) to the very end (V-bar at the venetian till like 430am).

day 1:
yardhouse (vodka shot - kamikaze- g..somethig - pear cider)
bally's
failed attempt at the pool
everyone passes out and skips out on the venetian
dinner at the chinese restaurant in chinatown
failed attempt at clubbing
chillin at bally's


day 2:
late wake-up
tennis match
lunch at malaysian restaurant
venetian--bally's--tennis match! GO CARMEL VALLEYYYYY
back to get ready
failed attempt at club tao at the venetian (adios muthaf-aa)
"clubbing" @ V-barrrrr (gin n tonic, vodka shots (2), long island, moreee)

day 3:
airport!!!

major workout

dang...bike ride to school
abs and gluts
total body workout
hip hop
dang...

GOOD STUFF yo!

i feel bad taking and taking and taking

so remember that good deed, offering a friend a ride to the airport? well i TOOK IT BACK. oh im a horrible, so horrible. furthermore, dana gave me A BIKE..like a NICE BIKE and its SOOOOO AWESOME AND AMAZIN but i felt bad taking it because i feel bad. lol. im super grateful. jeeze, dana's an awesome SUPER AWESOME person and i wish him all the bestest. even my housemates think he's like the sweetest nicest guy at stanford just from having known him in the past. balls...furthermore, i took lee chang's old phone. i guess i feel uncomfortable having all these people's stuff cuz i feel like i owe them even though they "gave" it to me. well, they have my love. hahah... i guess that's cool right?

anyway, today was a pretty cool day. nutrition class is really interseting, i learned all about sports nutrition and eating and stuff..interesting stuff. really interesting. yoga was good as usual, especially the last part when we just laid there. lol.

i had dinner at jerry. gosh, justin's awesome. even though he's a punk sometimes to people and says not so nice things, he's not a punk to me so..dang, what can i say? he's a good friend. lucas is amazing too...gosh, good people. and i got to see LT and his drawgroup. that was fun. LT got me to play for his IM team..how you ask? he asked me...twice. that's all it took. yep, i'm a sucker cuz LT's too cool for school. anyway, i laughed my ass of with justin and lucas. why? i'm not sure. all justin kept saying was 'you're on crack gloria' while i couldnt' stop laughing. lucas kept saying 'pull my finger' or like 'break my cracker' or like 'pull my thumb'. hahahah, dang, fun times.

after dinner i had nutrition section. then i made a quick stop at trancos. then i headed back to the house, and went out for gelato. i didnt buy any but i stole some of lauren and vy's..it was SOOOO GOOOD.. omg. i have to go back when i'm not so full!

since then, i rushed to finish a grant app to get some dinero for my trip to papua new guinea. i guess i'm really going. lol. anyway, it's way expensive - the flight costs anyway. it'll be about 1500-1800 to singapore but i dunno about to PNG. so yep, costs up the ass. hopefully i'll be able to get some money from these grants...


TOMORROW! HIP HOPPPPPPPPPPPPPP i love it!

listening to: alan luo - zi wo cui mian
this is my crush! :) looks partly, but really personality!

happy camper

today has been a pretty good day. :) and i've totally been doing good deeds all over the place, just cuz i've felt like it so i'm pretty proud of myself.

this morning i drove melissa to school and as we were driving out, we ran into my old pwr2 classmate who lives in the little shack right next to our house so i offered to drive her and her friend to school. yay, good times. in my chinese class, it was kind of tough but it was all right. leila beach said she loved me because i was taking her to the caltrain station after class. this one freshman in my class has the MOST AWESOME VOICE - i dont know if it's cute or if it's hot or maybe both! :) so afterward, i took leila first to jack in the crack and then to the caltrain station.

i didn't have too much time to eat but it's all good, because i went to fremont to teach asthma class, #2! it worked out really well, the kids were more or less on time and in terms of teaching, carol and i took turns teaching the different parts (because we were teaching 2 different classes). it was fun and nice and i just wish i knew the kids were getting a lot out of it. these kids are so tough, having to deal with asthma at such a young age and knowing that ppl die from asthma. it's kinda crazy. one girl even has to deal with migraines. man, true troopers. anyway, this class was a review of last class - what happens during an asthma attack and symptoms - and then new stuff on warning signs and triggers, and how to use a peak flow meter. the olde rclass was a little rowdy but it was all good. their prize was a mini madlibs book! how cool is that!??!

i drove back afterward, crossed the toll and the STINKY STINKY dumbarton bridge. i made it back for like 5 minutes of total body workout, and then i went to subway and sat outside tressider till about 5pm..went to my meeting which was uber boring, and i think i was all antsy cuz i REALLY REALLY wanted to be in hip hop class. :( i got out around 6:10 and rushed over to hip hop and caught them doing their last few stretches. BALLS. anyway, after that, since everyone was busy doing something and i wanted to play basketball (considering i hadn't really done anything active all day) i went over to the WCC to hit against the wall. it was really good and very therapeutic. at one point a little girl dressed as a tomboy was hitting next to me and i thought she was so cute and reminded me of myself. lol. as i was letting it all out, grunting like no other, and going crazy, i was thinking..hmm, this is a good place to meet people. lol, and next think you know some guy comes up to me and asks if i play for the stanford team, which is o so very flattering, but i said no and then he asked if i was a student and then i said yeah, and then he was like can i get yo numba so we can hit sometime? and i was like sure, so we exchanged numbers. lol, what's funny is that he thinks i'm going to call him. PSHHH, i'm afraid i don't do that to strangers. haha, whatevers. my ball got stuck in the fence around 8pm, so that was the end of my wall-hitting.

back at the house, i took a shower, and then i did another good deed and agreed to take alyssa to the airport on wednesday. oh, and i offered to pick up melissa from campus tonight if she needed. gosh, i'm just feeling extra friendly at the moment. eek.

OH, and as i was driving home from campus, i was thinking about my whole thing where i tend to like guys who are either 4 years older than me or 1 year younger, and so yep, i have major crushes on 2 sophomores, 1 white, 1 black. amazing. there's a really cute guy in this other class who's asian who i've never talked to but i'm going to guess he's probably a sophomore too. man, good times. :)

i'm eating my salad from jack in the crack at the moment. if i'm still hungry, i'll probably eat the rest of my subway sandwich. i'm going out for gelato and studying later with the housemates. woot.

song of the day: pitbull - go girl

target

so my housemates - lauren and vy, that is - and i went out for sushi today. we ate at DAN CY SUSHI. it was reallly really good. mmmmmh. i miss my salmon teriyaki bento plates from nozomi's...but this was a pretty decent version. =P i'll have to come back for the lunch boxes. why do restaurants think that they can bump up the price like several dollars and serve LESS FOOD just cuz it's dinner time. bitches. yes, that's right. anyway, it was a lovely restaurant and they had pretty fancy presentation of dishes.

afterwards, we went to target. i got myself some awesome boxers - woooot - and sandals and a bathing suit top. holler. vy got some shoes too and almost got another bathing suit. it was a nice bonding experience. i feel like our relationship has reached a new level considering they saw me partially naked. lol. anyway, we stayed there a good long time. it was nice...it kinda feels like summer. :) summer makes me happy. the happiest times of my life have been in the summer. no doubt.

i have a phone now thanks to lee chang. i talked to my parents and then to my sister. looks like they might be flying up from SD. woot. there's still annie and john. hopefully they can fly up too.

accomplishments for the weekend

-paid the rent.
-lost the KRAZR and found another phone to use (thanks lee chang!).
-spent $100 in 2 days.
-laundry

dang. AHHH. hahah.

on another note: now that spring quarter is here, i realize i should have just planned better and graduated winter quarter. lol. i feel like i'm wasting time and money (not my money, but people's money). i'm only taking 12 units, and i only needed the 3-unit bio class. furthermore, by the time graduation day hits i'll be at like 211 units. AHH. hahah, what a waste. WASTE. i'm really good at that...wasting time..wasting money...UGH. i'm so disgusted with myself. yuck. now i'm going to go spend more $ for dinner. i'm glad i'm running low on money; it'll teach me the value of a buck. i'm so fucking spoiled. disgusting.

tennis

i've missed playing tennis. it feels so good to hit the ball like..the right way..solidly. man. i miss those summers when i would go out to hit till the sun set and then head out to the pool or to the beach. anyway, i'm glad i'm doing lots of activity classes cuz it gives me a lot more energy. i'm still not all that fit, but it's really nice to get exercise in. it's also been a good way for me to just get away..from whatever.

i'm really excited about going home. i just hope nothing gets in the way...

next week i'm going to vegas to hang out with the tennis folks. i'm kinda just seeing this as a minivacation, not that i need one, but it'll be fun to just hang out and cheer 'em on. they're playing in a tournament there. yay.

currently listening to: linkin park - shadow of the day.

oh, on another note, i've been having weird dreams...like ones that involved a particular other person. it's weird. like i said, my dreams have been really really vivid - it's kinda scary.

tired

all this exercise is making me tired. lol. it's good, but i'm just tired.

anyway, i had more to say earlier, but i forgot what i was going to say.

brian is probably going to drive up on saturday to watch the hip hop show in SF. woooooo. it's wayyyy super dee duper coooooooooool! and CRAZY. i never woulda thought he'd drive up here but if he does, way COOOL. :D

part of 2 worlds

this is sort of an add on to the last post. i feel like i'm part of 2 very different worlds - the stanford world - carefree, unreal, fake, but very conducive to learning, and the real world - harsh, uber surprising and scary.

it's so WEIRD to be spending my days at this paradise of a campus where i can play ping pong, work out in a really nice gym, play some tennis whenever i feel like it, get free food wherever i go, when interspersed throughout the day i get messages from home that shock me into realizing what a crazy world it is outside of stanford. in the past few days, i have heard about death, murder, abuse, major family problems, broken relationships etc which have been juxtaposed to my yoga classes, gym workouts, dinner outings, and frisbee playing. ah it just boggles my mind and is very bothersome. whatevers. i'm not being very articulate... but it just reminds me of what some stanford student said back in the day - i think some spoken word person - about how we come to stanford to forget. i have no doubt that it's true. we come here and forget about our home lives our troubles our stresses and just focus on school - i mean that's why we're here - and create new worlds of our own on campus. i'm not saying its bad or good because it's both, but the thought is definitely a little unsettling.

life's too short

so in light of the shit load of drama that's been happening around me, i thank God that my family and friends are still well and have their health and i pray for them all to be super dee duper strong during the tough times they are going through. i cant believe the things that i've been hearing about lately. it's really sad the shit that goes down in this world and this is one of the reasons why i have no qualms about going back home to san diego and spending time with my family. i'm making like hispanics and enjoying the here-n-now before it's too late. sure the hard work is invested for the return later, but there's definitely good that can come from enjoying the present. plus, it's not only about spending time with my family because i will definitely be learning a lot when i go back home. hopefully i'll learn more about the community so that i can go to school and work in san diego in the future. plus, i can probably work the american lung association teaching those classes to kids - word is san diego just go mucho dinero to run these classes, and being a border city with mexico, it'll be prime location for me to beee. anyway, this is besides the point. anyway, just saying that life is short and time is precious and i want to spend as much of it as i can with the people that i love most = mi familia!!! i must admit that i will miss my friends from college mucho mucho but since they'll be big balling hopefully they can visit me in SD *wink wink* where i'll treat them to some good food and take good care of 'em.

i've just got in touch with mike zhang from kimball again. he's going to UW for an MDPhD. i'm so happy for him! he's also doing this biking marathon thingie for ppl with...oh shoot! i forgot. anyway, i donated dinero to the cause and i'm uber excited. i'm so happy that there are all these good people in the world. it makes me SO happy.


oh, and i should also note that i taught my first asthma classes today!!! it was a lot of fun, but i wish my talking were a lot smoother and polished. i was sorta improv-ing and i didn't like that. i really want these kids to take away soo much for this class because i'm told that they are soo useful for them, especially coming from lowincome backgrounds and having parents that dont know too much about asthma. i hope i will get better at this sort of thing because i definitely wouldn't mind if it was an integral part of my career in the future - teaching disadvantaged folks about basic health, etc...in san diego, hopefully i'll be able to continue teaching asthma to kids. eventually it'd be nice to teach about nutrition and other issues. i could come up with my own lesson plans and stuff! how fun would that be? i figured it could be a side job to being a doctor. anyway, the kids were way cute. i must say i felt more comfortable around the 6th graders because they were straight up ghetto and i was like YEEA and a little bit of my gangsta ness came out. lol. i think it's cuz at that age, the personality of the person who is teaching, i feel, comes a little bit more into play - which is to my advantage because i dont know if i teach that well but i make funny faces and do weird things which would appeal to their age group more, i think anyway. i dont know though. guess i'll find out eh?? anyway, i will definitely try to be more prepared for next week. i'll try. lol.

so i guess i jumped topics. anyway, point is, i gotta do what i love and i gotta be with who i love.

bonding time

i've been doing a lot of bonding with different groups of friends. it's been really nice but really hard on my attempted head start on school work. whatevers, right? hehe. i'm trying to get organized at the moment. oy, que dificil!

oh another note, i'm going to start keeping track of what i eat for my nutrition class. i'm really excited about learning about nutrition and junk cuz a lot of it i guess is supposed to be intuitive and junk..but it'll be nice formally learn about it and to keep track of calories and energy because it seems like a semi-healthy habit, especially cuz i eat bags of candy in single sittings.

parties

i went to justin's bday celebration today! it was nice to see everyone from freshman year...it felt really nice, and made me happy. it was still slightly awkward but i guess it sorta brought some sort of closure to my time here at stanford. anyway, i said happy birthday to justin and all, and my housemates were all there! yay! fun times. i also saw some of the other jerry people that i came to meet fall quarter. :) happy times. then karen nga came and was like WOOO let's take a shot, so her vy and i took a shot of vodka - a big shot i might add. oh boy, was it WARMING. then i went off all happy and giggly with the other girls and tim, and we went to theta delt for a party hearty. we couldnt get in so we went to 680 for the lambda party first, for like a few minutes, then back, and danced for a while. it was soooo fun! yay for dancing with my housemates. lauren kept getting hit on by all these sophomores -kekeke, and then we hung out in the parking lot for a while and they all talked while i did something. i think i was doing cartwheels. anyway, fun times. we walked back to jerry where our cars were and sang songs and danced. it was lovely.

dreams

i woke up crying just now. i dreamed that my friend's dad passed away and that we were all on this huge boat and there were crazy flowers - i remember thinking some were chrysanthemum's and tin was there, too, and it seemed like we were having fun - he was giving me a piggy back ride and stuff. then i remember seeing Mr. Brooks looking really solemn and i went to shake his hand and to give him a hug, and then i remember turning away because i thought back to when i first sorta met my friends dad and realized how dramatic his impact was on me. wo him, i wouldnt have met those 2, who have changed my life. i turned away immediately and starting crying. i thought about how he called me "champion" all the time and treated me well. when i woke up i was still crying. how sad, how very sad for many reasons. *sigh*

i've been way exhausted lately. i feel like i haven't gotten a break - in between classes i keep trying to catch a nap in someone's room and i keep going from activity to another. on a brighter note, i finally got a new phone battery and was able to talk to ava for an hour without it dying. :)

so my post-graduation plans are probably going to entail going back home and working at the restaurant. i'm really excited for many reasons, most of all, seeing my parents. as much as i want to take up extracurriculars and do things and as much as they want me to do well in school and beyond, there's no doubt that we have to see each other in order for either of us to be happy. it's been too long since i've seen my parents for an extended period of time...not only them but my brothers too. brian i-med me today and told me i have to make time for him. he told me we had to travel together and that i've been leaving him. (i just started crying again - i'm really emotional especially listening to this cirque du soleil music). GOSH, i feel like such a bad family member. all i've been doing is taking and taking - i feel selfish. i really want to give back. i wnt to be rich for my family so that they can have everything they ever wanted. gosh. AHHHHHHHHHHH

just a thought

in econ class we talked about pay as you go systems - like social security, where the young put in and the old take out,and as the young age they can expect to benefit from SS later in life. well in education, you have reverse pay as you go systems, where the old put in and the young benefit. well in this case there's market failure - because parents put money into their kids education
, but dont really benefit - its the kids that benefit. so this case suggests that parents shouldnt be investing in their kids education from an economic standpoint because they dont get returns, just their kids benefit.

anyway, i guess im thinkin abou tthis because i was just talking to my jigga, who talked about taking care of his family. i was thinking bout how parents rarely get any rate of return after all their investment in their kids. thinking about my family, thinkingn about all the kids in my family...about who would be taking care of my parents..the eldest is doing well, but it's a matter of how much he will be spending on his future family if you know what i mean...my sister is still figuring things out for herself...the other brother, school just isnt working out well for himand he's working part time...anyway, trying to be ambiguous about what i'mt ring tosay because i dont know who will be reading this, i want to be a rich insofar as i can give my parents everything they want. haha. i guess that was anticlimatic. whatevers. anywho, time for bed. goodnight.

the beginning of the end

so i decided to start this new blog and write about my time at stanford since...1. it might be nice to share my experiences at Stanford because i haven't ever done so before and 2. it might be good to remember how i felt as my college days were coming to an end.

i've been super tired these past few days still trying to catch up on my sleep. i drove to school with Vy at about 930am, and had chinese class - 1st year, 3rd quarter bilingual. It was nice to see Liao Laoshi again - she loves me and i love her! It's such an awesome class because she's an amazing teacher. very energetic and enthusiastic. i'm excited about reading actual stories in chinese!!! after chinese, i went to Economics of Education, which is being taught by a prof who i guess we took from harvard. to get her to come here, stanford gave her husband tenure. pretty slick move i guess. anyway, i enjoyed the lecture VERY MUCH. she's a great prof and apparently a genius, and she talked about issues that i've thought about, for example - what's the point of going to college? one of the main things she said was that college is only good if it provides a good rate of return, so one should only go to college until the rate of return equals his or her discount rate (i'm not TOO sure what that means) in order to maximize. i think the math might get to be over my head, but i'm going to try and audit it.

i had lunch on lee chang and with zhihao at Olive's Cafe. i had a beef gyro. yummmm. oh how i've missed good food from the States, and it's so much cheaper here! In Europe, the food was way variable and muy expensive.

i took a nap in trancos and at 3pm gordon and i went to TOTAL BODY WORKOUT. it was HILARIOUS. i cracked up the entire time, especially at the beginning. the best part was probably our skipping and reaching with the hands, OH and the SQUATs, the PULSING SQUATS. lol. oh boy. i was using 1lb weights the entire time. i'm such a stud. :)

i took another nap and then went to dinner at 5:45pm. this time, the meal was on edwin! woot. yes, i'm a bum.

7pm to 8:15pm i had a class called "Community Health: Contemporary Issues in Family Health and Patient Advocacy". looks like it will be really good. i'm so excited!

afterward, i ran all the way to tressider because i knew that it was danny's birthday and everyone was heading over to roble and my phone was dead. for some reason, the battery has only lasted like 20 minutes. weird eh? i have to get a new one. i happened to run into gordon, dtrieu, steve, and edna on the way, so we all went to lake lag together to find danny. it was cute cuz he was blind folded and they had took him on a raft into the middle of the lake. we sang him happy birthday from the shore, then went back to Roble for some Asian snacks. then we lingered and played pool and piano and foosball.

as the clock struck 10pm, i rolled out toward my car. i called my mommy as i charged my phone, and then made the short drive back to the house.

since then, i've just been trying to figure out classes. i'm going to take the bare minimum. so it looks like this:

Human Nutrition (4 units)
Chinese (3 units)
Community health (2 units)
Total Body Workout (1unit)
Hip Hop (1 unit)
Yoga (1 unit)

Total = 12 units.

yeah, i know. i'm a lazy bum. actually i have a lot on top of this. in addition,

Teaching Asthma classes to elementary school kids - Mondays for 3 hours
Meetings and prep for medical project - Monday evenings
Volunteering for the Family Resource Desk - 3 hours a week (5 times during the quarter)

i'm also going to be hanging out with friends because it's our last quarter together.

my schedules a lot more hectic than oxford. i do miss the free time...oh well. at least i experienced it. :)

i'll try and update this blog as often as possible. that's all for now. i need to catch up on sleep!